I am weak but HE is STRONG.

2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."

As previously mentioned I have been going through some difficult things lately and have just been having a hard time in general. Things have gotten better, but it's hard to not feel like yourself for such a lengthy period of time. I have had glimpses of feeling normal, but I am just not there yet. A good friend of mine gave me a book called "Praying Through the Tough Times" and although some of it is more aimed at those who have had a death near to them, there is still some really good stuff that I am getting out of it. The top verse was the one to the short devotion that I read today. I feel like I have accepted some things that have happened, but I am just having a hard time knowing HOW things are going to get better from here. I realized in reading this that sometimes we need to stop with all the "how's" and just simply trust that God will guide us and it WILL get better. God's grace is sufficient for us and we really need not worry "how" because it will be revealed. Instead of all the "how's" I should spend that time in his word and in prayer because that will be far more beneficial than wasted worries.

Through these difficult times I have realized a few things and it has done a few things that may not have otherwise been realized.
-I feel that God was preparing me for what was about to happen with the spiritual growth I experience. If I had not had that, I think things would look completetly different for me right now.
-I have also experienced more maturity through these past few months because I have been broken and forced to trust in his perfect will for me.
-I feel I have more understanding and compassion for more people.
-I feel that this situation is bringing greater understanding and restoring that could not have been opened up unless the situation had happened.

Sorry if that was hard to follow, but I still just can't open up completely. But the gist of it is that I am still having a bit of a hard time, but I am getting better, and I am seeing God work.
I am weak but He is strong.

A long break.....

So I am aware that I have taken quite a long break from my blog, but it certainly was not w/o reason. Besides the normal of being busy with work and family I have been going through some really, really difficult things in my personal life. If this blog were a little more private I would go into detail, but it's not so I can only speak generally about what's going on. About 6 or so weeks ago my whole life was turned upside down and I was absolutely crushed. The last 6 weeks have been spent with a lot of tears, sleepless nights, deep hurt, calling out to God, and thankfully conversations and visits with friends and family. It's one of those times where you have to remind yourself over and over again that God's plan is perfect. We don't get to know why things happen sometimes, but we have to trust that His plan is perfect and he will see us through every situation we encounter. Each day I am not sure what I will feel like when I wake up in the morning or even what I may feel like an hour later. I am thankful that God is still at work in me and has put certain people in my life at just the right time to help me through this storm. Tonight I read Psalm 117:2 "For he loves us with unfailing love; the Lord's faithfulness endures forever." I wish that I could write more right now or say something really great, but I am just at a loss for what to say. If you take the time to read this I would of course appreciate your prayers.

One of THOSE days...

Today was just one of those days....I had my highly anticipated doctors appointments....I know that sounds weird, but they were just highly anticipated because I wanted to get an answer to what was going on. Well, I got some good news, but the bad news was it didn't really solve the issue either... I just now know some things it is not. So of course, they would like me to go to another specialist....after some thought....NOPE!, not gonna do it!  Instead I am going to try an appointment at an eastern medicine doctor and other than that am just going to pray and ask for prayer.....afterall our God is the great healer right? (and to be honest, my problem isn't anything painful, just not normal at all) And other than that it's just been one of those days where I just feel like I had gotten worn down over time with multiple things and I just kinda cracked a little bit today. I know I will be fine and what makes me more upset is that I am upset! hahaha, make sense!? I know that I just have to give things to God and just simply live day to day, but it's hard to do that sometimes. I know what things I need to change in my life, but as we all know change is hard and it takes time. Sometimes I lose sight of what is really important and allow things to upset me that really shouldn't. My main goal right now is just to spend more time reading God's word and praying because I believe that will make things more clear for me. Alright, I am really tired and worn out so I am going to end this one and will make the next one hopefully more upbeat :o) sorry.
May God our Father give you grace and peace.