Things I have loved.....

Things I have loved about Christmas break so far......
1. Learning how to use the trolley system here in Scottsdale....I will admit learning has not been the most seemingly smooth learning curve, but I still like it. :o) (& I think it's really cool that it's free)
2. Spending extra time with my kids and seeing more of their sense of humor and silly antics. --Malaki is on a kick of wanting to pick out his own shoes & socks which he loves to do unmatched ones and I just don't care so I let him go out like that & he is a really great big brother to Jaylee--- Jaylee sings & dances & is just hilarious & also simply the sweetest thing I could ever imagine!)
3. Getting to spend time with one of my sisters and realize how much we still have in common even though from the outside we may seem different.
4. Spending more time with Floyd & beginning out new book together.
5. Purging more things from the house.....I might actually like purging things as much as I like purchasing them....hmmmmm.
6. Eating good food!!! I went out to a few places while Kim was here and then also have made some good food at the house. :o)
7. Having time to just relax....get in some more walks, runs, and watch some T.V.

Things I have not loved over break....
1. I must admit with all this extra time I think I got a little bit lazy.
2. I am having some physical/medical kind of issues.--(pls. pray for that-dr. appt. next Tues.)

I know I have been slacking on this blog majorly! But I promise sometime within the next couple days I will write a real one. :o)
May God our Father give you grace & peace.

Christmas Break begins....

I am very excited that today marks the start of my Christmas break. I didn't finish everything I needed to at school so I will still need to stop back in to do some things, but at least it will be at my leisure and I can take the kids with me too because they love to go to Mommy's work. Tomorrow my sister Kim comes which I am pretty excited for since she is the only family I will see over my Christmas break. I am a little nervous though because I have been having some lower abdominal cramps the last couple of days.....(I don't think I mentioned before, but I didn't have some lady troubles about a month or so back and did find that I have a cyst on my ovary that has to be looked at again the first week of Jan.)...but anyways the cramping hurts fairly bad and I am afraid it may me the cyst will burst or something....I dunno. But if this cyst has any consideration for me it will wait to do what it needs to do after my sister leaves so that I can have fun with her. :o) On a way seperate note I joined this practical saver online sight that helps who you where the best sales are for groceries and what coupons you can use, etc... Well anyways....I typically spend about $120 on all groceries (including pull-ups, cleaning supplies, & toiletries) I really wanted to trim this down, so goal #1 is to get it down to $100 a week & ultimately I would like to get it down to $80 a week. The last two weeks I have gotten to the $100 goal. I do the bulk of my shopping at Frys and always look at the percent I save....typically if I got a 30% I was happy, last week I got a 38% and today I got a 41%!woohoo! So we will see how things continue, but I think I am getting better and this whole grocery shopping thing. Well I am off to do some more cleaning, but I will try to write more on this blog over break....no promises though :o)
May God our Father give you grace and peace.

Still thankful after Thanksgiving....

I am sure that's still allowed....to be thankful after Thanksgiving...right!? ;o) Well one thing I was particularly thankful for by Mon. evening was to be able to eat!!!! For almost 5 days I was not able to eat much & what I did eat was a very bad idea due to me being very sick. Anyone who knows me knows that I just really love food. Although I didn't even really have an appetite it still bothered me to see other people enjoying food. Even while waiting my turn at the Walgreens clinic last weekend (with major stomach pains) a girl was chomping on some snack mix behind me and I was sooo jealous! So anyways.....I am now so thankful that I can simply eat again! It came at the best time too because students have started bringing in lots of holiday treats for the teachers. :o) Cue the music...."it's the most wonderful time....of the year! :o) It was however pretty funny when the nurse practitioner asked me what kinds of things I had tried to eat recently and I had to be honest that I had tried to eat a donut & then a leftover piece of pizza.....let's just say she shook her head a lot at me and then explained the BRAT diet to me....which helped over the next day and a half while I finished recovering. :o) AND....what a small world...the nurse practitioner's nephew was an RA of mine during the Summer Honors program I went to when I was 17. weird.
Soooo....I have been continuing to read my power of a praying wife & holy cow is there so much stuff I should be praying for all the time! I have been missing a whole bunch of stuff until now! yeesh! I don't know why someone didn't tell me sooner :o) Just kidding, people probably did, I just didn't listen. I am also just finishing Revelations & whoa! Talk about a creepy book right now! Anybody else think so? I think that's about the scariest thing you could read cuz it's REAL!!! But NEways...things are good....I missed church last week due to sickness & am excited to go back next Sunday!
This Sat. is a Christmas party with some of my girl friends. I was supposed to find a red dress for it which didn't happen for multiple reasons....BUT I did at least buy a lacey black skirt to go with a red shirt I already had so I will be somewhat festive. Perhaps I will remember to post a pic next week. I have pretty much my whole outfit picked out, but REALLY wish I had some cute black boots to go with it instead of the black shoes I currently have laying out with it. I am just soooo picky with boots and have searched high and low and CANNOT find black boots that I consider both cute and affordable in my size!blah! Well it's way late so I gotta go to bed! Hope you enjoyed the randomness that was tonight's post. :o)
May God our Father give you grace and peace.

what to blog about....

So I have been an absent blogger again.....not because I didn't have time, but more so because I didn't know what to write. I've been going through some "life" things that could provide for various discussions on my feelings and new realizations, but it's another one of those situations where I don't feel like I can expose much without also involving other peoples' personal business. What I can say is that I have learned that there are many more things in my life than I realized, that I really have no power over other than the power of prayer. I have always prayed, but to be honest with you I never really thought it did much....I felt of it more as a formality & I felt like God was just gonna do whatever he had preplanned whether I prayed or not. Well through my experiences and my wonderful book I have been reading I no longer feel this way. I am going to make praying a large priority in my life now because I believe so strongly in it. I am also thinking I may still do my prayer walk & a prayer journal because sometimes I feel like I would like to write my words down to pull more out. Another issue that has been swirling around in my head is also something I cannot specifically write because I don't want to expose anyone or hurt anyone's feelings, but I would still appreciate prayer. When I was growing up at our church people would sometimes have "unspoken" prayer requests....so people would know to pray that God's hand would be at work in their lives where they needed it even if they did not know specifically what they were praying for. Soooo....that's what I am saying.....I have an unspoken prayer request.  :o).....
On a seperate note....I had a great Thanksgiving weekend full of relaxation, food, family/friends, & good deals shopping. :o) Also happy to say I have less than 3 weeks until my Christmas break starts! That is all!
May God our Father give you grace and peace.

Witnessing.

few examples of definitions from dictionary.com:
a person or thing that affords evidence.

a person who gives testimony.

 

Simply hearing the word witnessing can make many believers uncomfortable. Why? Well in my case it's because it's one thing to personlly believe in something, another thing to want to tell people about it, and a whole other thing to feel confident that I would be able to answer any questions that someone may have for me while I'm telling them about Christ. In the past I would have normally rather eaten a few rocks than have to witness to someone because I was so afraid of what they would think of me. I didn't want people to think I was a freak. Now, I would love to share Christ with others, but still feel a little unsure of how to go about it. I don't want to offend others, but I also do not want to minimize anything about Christ. (does that make sense?) As I have previously mentioned, I also need to beef up on some of my knowledge and Bible references. The question came up in Bible study about how we are to witness to others. It's hard to say how, but we should be ready when opportunities present themselves. One thing my pastor mentioned is that the way we live our every day lives should be a testimony and a witness to others. I really, really want my life to be a good testimony and witness for Christ and I often think about it. I think I have already changed the way I handle myself in different situations and I even find myself much less bothered by things that used to really bother me.I know there is a lot more I can do, but for me it is very beneficial to remind myself that I am a witness for Christ every day that I am living on earth.

"For wherever your treasure is....

there the desires of your heart will be also." Luke 12:34
I love this verse even though it's one that can often be convicting for me. It's convicting because another saying that goes along with this verse is that where your mind wanders is where your heart is. When your mind wanders where does it most often go? It shows you if you are focused on earthly things or are you focused on God and his will for you? I wish I could say my mind always wanders to Godly things, but I would be totally lying. My mind often wanders to earthly desires and it often disgusts me when I actually think about it. I am hoping that as I spend more time in the word and in prayer God will reveal to me what it is that he wants most of me and I can focus myself on that.
On a seperate note....I head to the Dr. tomorrow morning, hoping all goes well....been having some issues. Felt better today though after prayer with the pastor's wife yesterday. And I am going to leave you all with another verse I read today.....(comforting knowing that there is one thing that is constant)...Revelation 1:8 "I am the Alpha and the Omega-the beginning and the end. I am the on who is, who always was, and who is still to come-the Almighty One."

Prayer.

It has recently come to my attention just how weak my prayer life is. First, it was hard for me to find a time of day to pray. I am not much of a morning person so I cringed at the thought of getting up any earlier to try to do that. As soon as I get home from work I am busy w/the kids, dinner, & cleaning. At night I end up being so tired that I fall asleep about 1-2 minutes into a prayer. I used to write out prayers sometimes because at least that helped keep my focus. I think I already mentioned this, but recently I started making my walk to work/school a prayer walk. This way I know that I get at least 15 min. of prayer a day. So I was all proud of myself for finding a time that worked and I felt connected, but then in reading and listening to some things I realized that I was forgetting so many things that I needed to pray for. I wasn't praying for my husband and my kids in the way that I should. I mean, they would make it into my prayers, but not in all the ways that they should, (is that makes any sense). My prayers would simply rather superficial and lacked depth. Not that I am some prayer expert now, but I feel like I understand how to pray better now. I still probably couldn't pray any eloquent prayers out loud, but they sound good in my head. :o) I have always despised praying out loud because I always feel like I am doing it wrong, or don't sound formal enough, or I'll forget what to say, etc. (random side note: my friends in college all knew that I did not like to pray out loud which is why Kate often thought it was a good idea to try to volunteer me to pray during cross country practice....that rascal!) Maybe one day I'll get over it...hope I do. I do pray with Malaki at bed time, so I guess that's a start! I wanted to include this passage tonight that I read in Jude, it's verses 20 & 21, "But you, dear friends, must build each other up in your most holy faith, pray in the power of the Holy Spirit, and await the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will bring you eternal life. In this way, you will keep yourselves safe in God's love. "
That's all for tonight, so I will leave you with verse 2 as well, "May God give you more and more mercy, peace, and love. "

Thankful...

So I have heard that some people do this 30 days of thankful thing before Thanksgiving and clearly I missed the boat on starting that, but I thought perhaps I could fit 30 into one blog! Here goes nothing...
1. Thankful for a great Mom & Dad that did such a great job raising me, although I may have questions things at the time. :o)
2. Thankful for Malaki who is a Mama's boy to the max! He cried and layed in his bed for a half hour after I left for work this morning because he was so upset that it was Monday and time for me to go back to work again.
3. Thankful for Jaylee who is so sweet and affectionate and has personality like WHOA!
4. Thankful for my job that I really, really enjoy.
5. Thankful for the amazing church I have now been attending for about a year and a half.
6. Thankful for my best friends Lindsey who is always there for me & can always make me laugh.
7. Thankful for the experiences I was allowed to have while attending IWU. College days were seriously the best ever.
8. Thankful for God's protection in my life in many areas.
9. Thankful for my sister sending me the book, "Power of a Praying Wife" which is the perfect book for me right now.
10. Thankful for all the food I have to eat. I think I sort of have food issues, but I feel so happy & content with a large variety of food in my house.
11. Thankful for all my sisters....we are all so different, but it makes for good laughs and good conversation.
12. Thankful for living so close to my work that I can walk or ride my bike each day.
13.Thankful for the ability to run, (even though I haven't been doing it much lately), I am thankful that I have the ability to do so because it makes me very happy and just feel good all around.
14. Thankful that God has allowed me to serve him by using some of my gifts he gave me.
15. Thankful for the great worship music I have on my itouch right now.
16. Thankful for facebook so that I can keep up with my family easier that I am far away from.
17. Thankful that I was able to visit my family in Michigan so much this year....I miss them a lot.
18. Thankful for the beautiful things God created in nature....different landscapes.
19. Thankful that the time is getting closer where I may live in a house instead of an apartment....(no set date, I just know it's getting closer....now I just have to pray to figure out where we are supposed to buy)
20. Thankful for God's forgiveness or forgivingness? I dunno....but I am thankful for it cuz man do I really mess up quite a bit.
21. Thankful for the changes the Lord has made in my heart within the last 3 months or so.
22. Thankful that within the last year I am finally able to read the Bible because I want to and actually be able to understand and learn from a lot of it.
23. Thankful for my co-workers.....we are all very different, but I learn things from every single one of them and they are a great group of people.
24. Thankful for my very comfortable bed....might sound silly, but seriously you spend a good portion of your life on it, so I am just glad I have one that I really like and I kinda feel like a queen in it. :o) (yes I know that I am special)
25. Thankful for all of the great information we have access to over the world wide web....sounds weird, I know, but seriously....if used carefully the internet is a great source of information and avenues to further His kingdom.
26. Thankful that my kids both love going to church so far....we'll see how long I can have this continue.
27. Thankful my kids are both active and busy bodies like me so they love it when I take them all over the place.
28. Thankful that Plato's Closet is now located 1/4 mile from me so that I can get my fashion fix by bargain shopping there.
29. Thankful that no one has made any comments to me about how I don't proof read my blog posts very well or at all.
30. Thankful I am done with this post because a) it started to get difficult doing all 30 at once instead of day by day & b) I wanna go to bed. :o)
31. I had to come back and add this one....I have no idea how I forgot to put this on the list...but about 12 hours later while at work I realized I had forgotten it and this one just cannot be left off of the list...so 31 it it....I am thankful for Floyd! An amazing husband who cares for me, provides for me, and just loves me, (oh, & he's pretty good lookin too)!

**So some Thankful things were deep while others were quite shallow, but still I am thankful for them all!**

Letting go of expectations...

The small section I read in my "Power of a Praying Wife" book today was on letting go of expectations. Now in this book they are referring to expectations of your spouse, but I think it applies greatly to other areas of life  as well. I can remember numerous times when a friend has said they were going to call me, said we were going to do something, etc. &....well...it never happened. I used to be so upset by this because I was raised as a person of my word. If I say I am going to do something you can consider it done w/o a doubt. (side note: you can still consider it done if I say something now, but these kids of mine sometimes makes it take awhile longer to accomplish the goal :o)) Since these times of being upset I decided to change things to avoid my hurt feelings and frustrations. Now if I have a friend who says we are going to do something a certain I attempt not to plan other major things, but I still go about my daily business aware that I may get a call but not 100% expecting to. I figure if I am out doing something when they call it's not a big deal because they can just wait a little bit til I can make it over because I was on their time table and now thay are on mine. :o) I know it may sound weird and it's kind of embarassing to admit my hurt feelings from things like this, but oh well, I am just being honest. Ever since I have adopted this new attitude or these different expectations things have improved greatly for me. Do I think you should do away with all expectations? Of course not, but I think there are some things I can flex on and should to avoid certain outcomes or situations. The following is a paragraph from this section in my book....the paragraph is more directly referring to your spouse, but I really, REALLY like it:
"Let go of as many expectations as possible. The changes you try to make happen in your husband, or that your husband tries to make in himself to please you, are doomed to failure and will bring disappointment for you both. Instead, ask God to make any necessary changes. He will do a far better job because 'whatever God does, it shall be forever. Nothing can be added to it, and nothing taken from it' (Ecclesiastes 3:14) Accept your husband the way he is and pray for him to grow. Then when changes happens, it will be because God has worked it in him and it will be lasting. 'My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him' (Psalm 62:5) Your greatest expectation must be from God, not your husband."
This all makes so much sense to me and reaffirmed how I was already feeling about things. Any thoughts anyone?
Well I am VERY tired so I need to sign out. May God our father give you grace & peace.

Being a wife.

Being a wife is hard work. I love it, but it's hard work. I may complain and think or say, "man, I wish I could just come home from work & plop down on the couch with some chips instead of vacuuming, laundry, dinner, etc." Well as much as I like to say or think that, it's really not true. I am really not the type to sit around watching tv anyhow. I really am sort of a busy body and I should really thank God that he has given me the energy that he does. I also for some reason find a bit of joy in being the last one awake in the house every night because I've been up finishing housework. Sometimes as a wife and mother it can be hard to balance things because I feel that so much is expected of me, not just from my kids & husband, but also the expectations society puts on me. What has helped me is to look at what things are important to God & place those things in the forefront. I know I mentioned earlier that I have been reading a new book, "The Power of a Praying Wife," & it describes the husband as being the head of the house & the wife as being the heart. I would agree with this & I take great pride in the various things I do as the heart of the household.
Some seperate thoughts:
1. I finally got my tattoo this weekend, but for some reason can't get a pic to go on this blog right now so you'll have to check my FB if you wanna see it. I really like it, cuz it was really something for me, & it's really special to me.
2. Having my BFF in town was amazing! I love having another girl in the house that just gets me! We laugh & have so much fun just doing whatever.Can't wait until she visits again.
3. I did almost half of my Bible study HW for tomorrow & will hopefully have time to do some more tomorrow night before I have to head over there...I kinda don't like this HW cuz I am unsure on some answers and kinda hate being wrong.
4. Tomorow is voting day and I did find out where my voting location is and am going to attempt to go vote....probably won't vote on everything though because I didn't have time to research everything.
5. I cannot believe Jaylee is turning 2 this week! My does time fly! She is the sweetest thing you could ever imagine!
6. I love Halloween candy!
May God our Father give you grace & peace.

sharing block....

So I guess I have sort of hit a sharing block on my blog. I haven't written as much just recently because I am hesitant to talk about what's been on my mind. Although this blog is for sharing I typically try to write things in such a way that would only reveal information about myself and not anyone else...so that's kind of where I am stuck. So for now I will just talk about other things.... I have turned my walked to work in the morning into a prayer walk and I am really liking that. My sister just sent me a book called "The Power of a Praying Wife" which is pretty decent so far. I am relating to a few things I have read and also read a few reminders for myself. I have homework this week for my Bible Study class and I am not sure how I feel about it....all I did was glance at it and it brought flash backs of my college days in Old Testament when I had to get a tutor! hahaha. Apparently someone in my Bible class suggested we get homework.....I would like to pummel that person. :o) And now I am starting to fall asleep sitting here because I am so tired.....so I must go.
May God our Father give you grace and peace.

I need to beef up!

Nope, I'm not talking about my muscles cuz let's be honest, we all know that my muscles are all beefed up already:o).....So I was just thinking tonight....now that I am really clicking w/God and am in a really good place I really REALLY need to beef up my knowledge of the Bible so that I can witness to others and help others. I do the best I can at the moment, but I think that I could really benefit from more knowledge. Witnessing to others can be scary enough to me as it is, but it would really help if I had a solid foundation to stand on. I want to be confident so I don't get all tripped up when talking with others about God. I am in a Bible study right now that's already helping, but I need to continue to read the Bible, but also read supplementary stuff too. Does anyone have any suggestions of books I should read? Either comment or message me on FB if you do. Thanks!

Lindsey comes in 3 days & I am VERY excited! This weekend should be a blast and I will be sure to write a little bit about it after it ends. :o)

May God our Father give you grace and peace.

a mixed weekend.

Overall I must say that this weekend was a pretty good one but for some reason it was pretty up & down for me. I know that this blog is for me to share things, but I am not sure I want to go there right now for various reasons, perhaps later though. In the sadness I experienced this weekend  I realized a lot of things about myself and so I am grateful for that. Saturday morning I got to meet with my mentor for the first time and it was wonderful! We ended up walking & talking for close to 2 hours w/o even realizing it! We talked about various things, and I can already tell she is going to be a great mentor! She is very easy to talk to and the way she explains things makes a lot of sense to me. Today we had a church picnic after church & I have to say it's really nice to finally have a place to go to where multiple people come up & say hi & ask me how I am, etc. I know that probably sounds very weird to most people, but living in a city and especially a city where you original knew no one can be very isolating. Back home when you went out you always ran into someone you knew....I can say after living out here for 5 years that has only happened to me a handful of times & I am out and about a lot! I guess the point I am getting at is that I am starting to feel more comfortable here & feeling very blessed by where God has placed me. On a way seperate note I did a lot of cleaning this weekend, including the carpets and MAN does it make me feel so much better! My bff from HS comes on Fri. & I am pretty excited for that....just gotta get through the week first :o)
I will leave you all with 2 verses from tonight"s reading:
1Peter 4:8 "Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins."
1 Peter 5:7 "Give all you worries & cares to God, for he cares about you."

When I've learned the most....

It seems as though ever since I reached the age of 16, each year seems like I am learning so much. I at first felt like I learned a lot through my jr. & sr. yr. of HS, but then came college & boy, oh boy did I learn a lot then! Then of course, I moved a few thousand miles away from home, got married, and started a career....of course that brought many lessons. Shortly after that came along Malaki....& then Jaylee & to have to balance a family w/work, school, etc. So, WOW, I sure have learned a ton within the last 10-11 years and I guess what I realized is that I don't think it'll ever stop. More recently the things I have been learning has more to do with my relationship with God & how much that affects everything single thing in my life. It's really weird because it has made me more understanding of some things and in other ways it sometimes make me feel like an alien to the world I live in. Anyone know what I mean or experience the same thing? Tonight I was reading some in 1 Peter and came across this passage: "So think clearly and exercise self-control. Look forward to the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world. So you must live as God's obedient children. Don't slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn't know any better then. But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy." (1:13-15) I like this passage because it's a warning and a promise....it remind us to live right, but also tells us what will await us. In the past I was sometimes hesitant to fully commit to God because I knew a lot would be expected of me and I just didn't think I could do it. Now, I really want to live for Him and it's actually not that hard. Last night in Bible study Pastor Brian mentioned that we all can do many things as long as we just WANT it. So then I was asking myself what do I want? And here are my desires.....
1.I want to live as a witness and servant for him.
2. I want to be a godly wife and mother.
3. I want to be healthy.
4. I want to be happy.
All of these things will continually be a work in progress, but there will always be progress as long as I WANT it! Also, I think #4 will come naturally as the other wants are fulfiled. :o)

On a completely seperate note, I noticed on Mon. when I was walking home from work that  Platos closet just opened only 1/4 mile from my house!!! Woohoo! You can imagine my excitement:o) So tonight I brought a few things by and was able to purchase 5 items and still get about 40 bucks back! YES! Just a small slice of heaven for me having that store so close by. There was so much good stuff in there too since it's in Scottsdale! Anyways I am off to bed.
May God our Father give you grace and peace.

Im not doing it!

So I read a friend's blog tonight that had a short list of things that she'd like to swear she will never do. I thought it was a neat idea so thought I would do one myself. Just as she said in hers, these things I am saying I would like to swear I would never do aren't meant to judge people who do, do these things....it's just my personal feeling on them......& never is a strong word so I don't know if I can promise, but I would like to. Here it goes....
1. I will never buy a new Coach purse....yup, I'll admit there are a few pretty cute ones, but seriously!? why on earth do they cost so much? It's just absurd and I'd rather not have the same exact purse as everyone else anyhow.
2.I will never compromise my morals just because they make someone else uncomfortable....now don't get me wrong, I won't think it's ok to shove your beliefs downs someone's throat, but I also believe people should hold strong to their moral convictions without wavering....if someone else is uncomfortable with them, it's really their problem, not yours.
3. I will never dye my hair black....I have probably dyed it about every other color under the sun, but black is just never happening.
4. I will never forget the friends and family that have loved and supported me through so much in my life. (you know who you are ;o))
5. I will never cut my hair short and perm it like most old ladies.--I think if my hair gets that bad I'll just invest in some cute wigs or something....I'm pretty sure you are allowed to pull off anything when you are old and senile. Besides my sisters and I made my Mom promise she would never do that so it would probably be pretty hypocritical if I did not follow suit.
6. I will never lose my faith because HIS word is the only truth that lasts forever.
7. I will never stop eating sweets.....well unless it's absolutely life or death....otherwise it's out of the question!
8. I will never understand how everything works in this world....economy, politics, electronics...
9. I will never work at a job where I feel I am making no difference in the world; (however small it may be.) But with that said, I kinda feel like any job I could possibly hold I could create a way in which I felt I was positively impacting the world.
10. I will never get voluntary plastic surgery...it's not that I just think my body is so great, (cuz trust me it;s NOT, especially after 2 kids), but becaue I think it's a slap in the face to God in a way and I think it's putting yourself in a dangerous situation for a very unneccessary reason. If someone feels like they need plastic surgery there is a good chance they have got some other underlying issues to resolve.
So there is a 10 of them....getting tired now....today was a great day!...I got to see an old high school friend that I had not seen probably since my wedding and I got to shop a little. :o) Tomorrow morning I am going to visit a college friend and her two little kiddies, and then some of my sis's will start trickling in town. :o) Night~
May God our Father give you grace and peace.

lots of thinking going on...

So I have been doing lots of thinking over this vacation of mine, but I just haven't thought of which of it I would like to put into words or how....so I am still thinking.....so I guess the title of this blog is a teaser :o) The vacation has been a good ones thus far and I am looking forward to seeing some of my sisters this weekend. If you would like to see pics you just have to look at my facebook.:o) So since I teased you with the title I instead will now tell you 5 random things about me:
1. I burp very loud and get great satisfaction from doing so, and for some reason seem to burp more when I am at my parents house...perhaps I regress when I am home. :o)
2. I ran a marathon last year and qualified for the Boston Marathon which beforehand I was sure I wanted to do....but after the marathon I have had no desire to do one ever again. haha
3.I have not been working out for about 2 months and it has caused me to lose weight rather than gain it.
4. Even though sometimes I complain about staying up and cleaning when everyone goes to bed in my house, I actually kind of like being the last one up and checking on everyone and "closing things down."
5. I have actually peed my pants twice when I was in school.....once on the first day of kindergarten because I was too scared to go in their bathroom that had such a powerful flush, I thought for sure I would get sucked down in there....& we won't talk about the 2nd time today. :o)
That's all for tonight....may God our Father bring you grace and peace.
**and once again, I am on vacation so I am not editing!

In between...

You know that age you were growing up when you felt like you were to old to sit at the kiddie table at family gatherings, but the adults were too old and boring to sit with still? Well I kind of have a similar feeling. I am 27 years old with two kids which to me seems perfectly normal to me, but unfortunately it's really not super normal where I live or maybe I should say withint he groups of people I know. The good majority of my friends in Phx are actually a year or two older than me and have no kids and most aren't even married. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything wrong with that, but it just makes me feel awkward sometimes. Ya know, I feel like I am still kind of young and goofy, but I have kids so obviously I have other priorities than those do that do not have kids. Also, ya know how there are some Moms that are like over-the-top kind of Moms? --(I call them super mommish)--well I would like to think that I am a good Mom, but not super Mommish. Super mommish Moms kind of bother me because I feel like they have no life whatsoever outside of there kids and it's almost like you can't talk to them about anything, but there kids. So sometimes I feel stuck between two worlds. This is a big part of the reason I sometimes ache to come back to the midwest....I know a decent amount of people from college that live in the midwest that are around my age with kids and it seems more normal to live that way in the midwest. Besides having other people I can relate more too, I'd also like for my kids to have playmates. Church has helped with this a bit, but unfortunately the Mom's I know from work either have very different work schedules than me, lives farther away, or have lots of stuff going on. So that's where I am at with that....sorry it was kind of complaining, but it's just how I feel so often. I am in Michigan right now sitting in my Dad's chair with a long sleeve on, yoga pants, two pairs of socks, I closed all the windows in this room, and I'm still cold! Don't get me wrong it was an absolutely beautiful day, I just am a true Valley of the Sun girls now and anything under 90 feels cold. Today the kids and I went for a walk, played at the park, went to Walmart, played ball, and went on a little hike. It's so pretty here right now so I really should take some photos--I am so bad at doing that because I never want to stop and take them cuz I don't want to miss the moment I am having with them....but I will try! Oh & I should get a pic of my "5th grade bangs" that I'm rockin right now. :o) That's all for today.
May God our Father give you grace and peace.
P.S. I didn't edit this, don't judge me, I'm on vacation. :o)

Hebrews 13:8....

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever."
Such a simple verse, but one that means so much! It reminds me of something my Mom said to me a few different times when I have been really upset and hurt by people I thought cared about me....she would say, "People are always going to let you down, but God never will...I might even let you down, but God NEVER will." I relate her words to this verse because by her saying that I think she was telling me that people change, people are flawed....but God, he's not! In the world we live in where so much can change from day to day, it's nice to know that there is one thing that is constant, one thing you can depend on no matter what! Now Hebrews 13 had so much good stuff it in that I could write the whole chapter here, but I won't and I will just tell you to go read it! do it! :o) The chapter is just concluding words, but they are good ones!
Well I need to go wrap up this second loaf of pumpkin bread I made this week--YUM! & head to bed cuz I am wiped out again...(p.s. oh, how I wish I could write work stories on this blog!! some days are just unbelievable! haha)
May God our Father give you grace & peace.

what if I don't have a good story?

I have always loved when people share their testimonies at church because I find them so inspiring and so fascinating. It's amazing hearing what God is able to do in other people's lives...BUT.....then it also get's me thinking....what's my story? The thing is, I don't really have a cool story! No near death experiences, no childhood trauma, no unideal circumstances, etc... This makes for a very boring testimony which is unfortunate because the internal change I feel is so great! If I could put into words the little things in my life that have changed and those feelings I have inside me I would, but I am still not sure it would be a testimony anyone would want to sit and listen to. Oh well though....I guess giving a testimony may not be my calling right now, which is totally ok with me since I'm not really big on public speaking anyways. :o) If anyone wants to share their testimony with me message me through facebook because I would love to hear it! That's all for tonight because I am sooo tired I keep misspelling every single word!
May God our Father give you grace and peace.

Yup, a song again...

So growing up we were only ever allowed to listen to Christian music in my house which of course bothered me as I got older, not because I didn't like the music, but just because I liked other stuff as well & maybe it also bothered me a little because all my friends always told me how weird it was that we were only allowed to listen to Christian music  :o)....(random sidenote....I can still remember when I was in 5th or 6th grade and my Dad busted me listening to the Hot Stepper song on my little radio headphones...haha!). Once I moved out I listened to whatever music I pleased which consisted of very little Christian music. Well now I am getting back into it again....before when I listened to music I listened just for a beat I liked or catchy lyrics which seem to pop up more in secular music, but when you are in the mood for listening to peaceful and meaningful music I'm gonna have to go with Christian music (& some culture reggae). The song I shared last week on my blog, I was sharing with a co-worker of mine and she shared a song with me that was her current favorite. The song is called, "More Like Falling in Love" by Jason Gray. I had never heard of the song before so I wrote it down and said I would look it up at home. That night I went home & listened to it on my itunes and immediately downloaded it! The song is simply amazing and sums up a lot of feelings I have right now. Here are the lyrics: (please read them, but more importantly if you haven't heard the song you should definitely listen to it):
Give me rules, I will break them.
Show me lines, I will cross them.
I need more than a truth to believe.
I need a truth that lives, moves, & breaths.
To sweep me off my feet, it's gotta be....
More like falling in love, than something to believe in.
More like losing my heart, than giving my allegiance.
Caught up, called out, come take a look at me now.
It's like I'm falling, oh, it's like I'm falling in love.
GIve me words, I'll misuse them,
Obligations, I'll misplace them. 
Cause all religion ever made of me was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet.
It never set me free, it's gotta be....
More like falling in love, than something to believe in.
More like loseing my heart, than giving my allegiance.
Caught up, called out, come take a look at me now.
It's like I'm falling, oh, it's like I'm falling in love, love, love.
Deeper and deeper, it was love that made me a believer.
It's more than a name, a faith, or a creed,
Falling in love with Jesus brought the change in me.

I really, really like everything about this song, but I will share a few particular parts. In the beginning when it talks about breaking rules and crossing lines....that was always kind of me. I would follow rules and not cross lines if I saw the point in them, but if I did not, I would push the limits however far I felt I needed to. And the part where it talks about it being more like losing your heart than giving an allegiance...that's what I feel right now. I feel the holy spirit moving so much in mylife right now that it's almost not even an option but to follow Him and believe in Him. It's a really an amazing feeling. And where it talks about religion not setting you free....that's exactly what I felt like....I could say and act like a Christian all day long, but none of that brought any lasting change in me...I didn't feel a change until I was just swept off my feet. It's really weird cuz to be honest, I can't even put a finger on what all of the sudden changed in my life that made me feel this way. Usually people have a certain event that they can place which was sort of a turning point and for some reason I don't have that. I don't know if maybe there kind of was one and I forgot or what. I sort of wish I had some cool story, but I don't :o) haha. It's ok though....cuz I know the change is there because I feel like a whole new person. So if anybody reads this I would love to know what you thought of the song!

Comfort Activity.....

I think everyone has something they do to help them feel comforted during different times. Some of us eat certain foods, some may watch certain movies, or make ourselves busy w/various tasks or activities. Some of us realize we do these things and even do them intentionally while others don't realize in the moment that they are doing that. My comfort activity is shopping. I love, LOVE to shop any time, but I especially like to shop when I am stressed out. Someone who has looked at some past credit card statements would see that ;o /......it's something I am working on for a few reasons: 1. obviously I don't want to spend $ I don't have or waste $ I do have, but also 2. when I am trying to comfort myself with shopping I am not allowing God to be my comfort. I need to realize that it's not only OK, but it's necessary to rely on God...he wants us to! I did spend some time locating and downloading a few new worship songs over the weekend.....one of which I played quite a bit and then it was the first song they sang when I got into church this morning. :o) Love my church! (which daisy chains me into another thought)....I am really starting to feel more at home where I am at....which is sort of one of my stressors right now...there is still part of me that misses my family & friends so much  & hates missing things at home and when I think of getting a house here I don't know what to do because the area I live in is pretty expensive to buy a home in....but I really, really don't want to move to another part of the valley. I am going to pray that God would open some opportunities for housing close to where we rent now or that he would make clear the alternative plans because right now there are so many options and I just am clueless and to what to do. In less than a week I will be at home with my family which I am very excited about. I need to relax and soak up the time with them because after this the next time I will be home will likely be next summer because the holidays are just too expensive to travel and the weather is unpredictable with flights and all. Well that's all for tonight because I need to go do some cleaning and whatnot.
May God our Father give you grace & peace.

He never lets go....

So I know I have been blog slacking and it's late again tonight, but I really wanted to leave the lyrics to a very powerful song.....I think I mentioned it once earlier in a blog, but I found out the name & found the lyrics. If you have not heard it you should definitely google it. I have it on my ipod and to be honest the guy singing it is really not even my kind of music, but it's just such a powerful song and I just LOVE it!

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, your perfect love is casting out fear.
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life, I won't turn back, I know you are near.
And I will fear no evil, for my God is with me. And if my God is with me, whom then shall I fear? Whom then shall I fear?
Oh no, you never let go, through the calm and through the storm.
Oh no, you never let go, in every high, in every low.
Oh no, you never leg go, Lord you never let go of me.
And I can see the light that is coming for the heart that holds on, a glorious light beyond all compare.
And there will be an end to these troubles, but until that day comes, we'll live to know you here on the earth.
ETC.

If you already know this song or if you look it up for the first time & listen to it please comment and let me know what you think.

Tomorrow's the weekend....PTL! I'm kind of dying here....just lack of sleep & some stresses. So thankful for weekends and time with my family!
I promise I will try very hard to write a REAL blog this weekend. gnite!

FaItH.

Hebrews 11 talks all about faith; the very first verse of the chapter gives a definition of faith, "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." Then there is verse 6 which reads as follows, "And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him." The rest of the chapter goes on to talk about numerous times throughout the Bible where faith saves peoples lives. It was a neat little chapter to read which held my oh-so-tired mind this evening. It sort of had me thinking about the amount of faith I have in God.....I do have faith, but there are doubts that creep in my mind from time to time....these doubts creep in for a few reasons: 1. because there are so many skeptical people in our world that are always countering every claim of God that it allows some doubt to creep in if one is not careful & 2. I am such a logical and decently intelligent person that I start to think that it all needs to make perfect sense to me in order for me to have faith. About 5 years ago I was talking to a non-Christian friend about God and he said something that made complete and perfect sense....he said, "I think it totally makes sense to have a God that allows things to happen that we can't understand because why would I want to serve a God that was only just as smart as me, what would be the point." I believe that's a great way to look at things. As a human I tend to want everything to make sense to me, but then what would be the point of having and serving a God? I need to truly accept the following: (Isaiah 55:9) "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts then your thoughts." That's all for tonight. My God our Father give you grace and peace.

Givin stuff to God....

No, these headbands are not what I was referring to in the title of this blog.... I just wanted to include a pic to show people my latest love in the fashion world!! I love, LOVE these headbands with the chunks of felt with all types of beads, sequens and pearls glued on them. I have been told that they are at a last season thing; however, I have to kindly disagree beause the ones I saw out last season were more like flowers and peacock feathers and things of that nature....which I did venture into the flower ones, but didn't like them nearly as much as I love these ones!! Just sayin...:o).....
So now referring to my title...."givin stuff to God,"....I'm not talking about stuff like money, time, or any other material thing....I'm talking stuff like issues or difficult situations going on in my life. I was thinking about how it doesn't even make sense of why I have such a hard time doing it. If I am in a tough situation or have issues bothering me why do I want to keep them?? Shouldn't I be glad that someone would like to take over these issues/situations for me??  Perhaps it's because I am a take charge type of person that always thinks I can fix everything or at least make it better. Or maybe it's just that I like to help and give so much that I feel like that should be enough to fix things. I dunno where the root of it all is, but all I know is that I need to change it. I should be glad that I have a God who loves to help me in all situations, especially poopy ones! I mean seriously it's not like God's trying to take my cute bejeweled headands....it's more like he wants my broken one from last season. (I don't know if that made sense to anyone, but it did in my head, so I'm leavin it!) So anyways....basically today there was something bugging me and it was making me pretty upset and the one thing that made me feel better was when I prayed about the issue with Malaki before he went to bed, (the issue has nothing to do w/him BTW).....but there was just something about praying out loud that gave me a peace and made me feel so much better! I must do that more often.
On a different note....I am no longer the owner of a Titan, Floyd traded it in this weekend for an Altima which is quite nice. Floyd ran some kind of cost analysis & said it was better to do this.....I don't ask questions, I just remind him his whole career is about financial analysis and forecasting so I trust him. I also trusted his judgment on the car because I never saw it til he came home with it in the dark and I had to leave with the car 15 min. later to meet some friends. The car is very nice looking and fancy by my standards, (which are probably not that high). :o) OK, must head to bed now so I can start of the week right!
May God our Father give you grace and peace.

Hope. Love. Encourage.

Hebrews 10:23-25 "Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near."

This scripture sounds familiar so I am sure that I have heard it in a sermon before or in between snoozing in my college New Testament class :o) (sorry Dr. Smith), but I REALLY liked reading it myself. This scripture clearly lays out how we should function....have hope, love one another, & encourage one another. As I mentioned in a previous post part of this challenge our pastor gave us was to do an hour of service for the church each week. I have been teaching preschool Sunday School twice a month, but the thought of doing that every week is not too exciting to me. It's not that I don't like it....it's just difficult to schedule around my two little kids (because it's hard to teach with them both in there) and then also I teach all week already! I got the pleasure of sitting near that most fantastic woman on my first flight to Indy last weekend and she gave me what I believe may be the perfect idea for my "service". At her church they have a program called "Loving Pens," they get a list of people from their pastor who could use a card in the mail that week and the people in this group write a loving and encouraging message to them from the church. Immediately when the lady told me about this I thought it was perfect for me! I already like to do things like this for friends and family. Doing this as my service also has more flexibility which means it won't pull me away from my kids even more than my everyday work schedule. I have yet to pitch the idea to my pastor, but I thought I would shoot him an email tomorrow and hope he likes the idea. The verse above tells me that I need to be doing more of these types of things. I know I am busy with work and family, but I know there are still things I could cut out of my life to have more room for these other more important tasks that God has layed before me.

 Today I did officially buy a ticket home for fall break, (which is only in about 2 weeks), since I won't be home at all over the holidays. I am very excited to go, but probably not half as excited as Malaki. We went to Target tonight to buy him a small rolling suitcase because I think he is big enough to roll his own carrry-on & save Mommy some $ by not checking a bag! :o) Jaylee also got the most darling hoodie from Target so she is also ready to head to the midwest as well! Well my eyes are burning, I better head to bed!

May God our Father give you grace and peace.

Im not dead...

So I know it's been forever since I have written a blog and this one probably shouldn't even count as one, but I just wanted to say I am alive!.....just recovering from my trip home. The trip home seemed to fly by so fast, but it was so nice to see my family even if for just a brief time like that. The trip home was good all around because I came home ok with being home. Confused? Well....what I mean by that is that I really enjoyed visiting, but I was ok with coming home and knowing that Scottsdale is my home. Do I know that I will be here forever? No, but I am ok with it being my home for however long. Does it mean I don't miss home? No, but I just realize that this is where I am supposed to be. I realized that I love my family--which makes me love the midwest, but if I sit around Scottsdale constantly wishing I were somewhere else than I am not fulfilling my purpose God has for me in Scottsdale. I need to live in the present and seek God's will for me in the here and now! I need to be living intentionally, if that makes any sense to anyone besides myself. ;o) I am still extremely tired from my trip & the choas of being back at home & work so I need to head to bed. I will really try to get a good one in tomorrow.
May the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace.

No Hiding...

It's really late so this will be a short one, but I wanted to post real quick anyway because I wanted to share a verse the I read yesterday....Hebrews 4:13 "Nothing in all creation is hidden from God . Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable." I really liked this one because I think a lot of times I work so hard to present myself in a certain way so that I please or don't offend other people and not that it's a horrible thing, because social skills are a good thing :o) but I need to realize tand remember hat God is the only one that I am accountable to. Although others judgments and opinions can hurt in the moment, they ultimately hold no baring over my fate; therefore, I should waste no time trying to hide anything about myself from them. By caring so much about how others view me, I am actually allowing them to have power over me when they should not. Also, no type of persona I put on will fool God....he knows everything about me...the good...the bad....and the worse. I have heard some people say that if they question something they are doing they think about what their Mom or Dad would say about it....while that may be helpful, I ought to be thinking what would God say if I had a conversation with him about this. Sometimes I am not sure what God what say about different situations, but I am working on my relationship with him and finding the truth daily.
On a lighter note, I went to my friends house tonight to eat some pizza & watch ANTM and it was a great time. Ki came & met her little doggy which was iffy at first, but they were the best of friends by the time we left. : o) Off to bed I go, hope everyone has a great Thursday!

it's official.

So it's official that I now have to go to the Bible study I mentioned yesterday.....cuz ya know, I was thinking of going & then my pastor had to go ahead & email me today asking if I would join that very one I was thinking of....think that was a little sign....soooo I committed. The Bible study goes from 7:00-8:15, but I told him I would need to leave right at 8:00 since that one hour would fulfil the hour of Bible study that was suggested as part of our challenge....of course I was kidding, but I don't know him all that well, so I hope he got my sense of humor. :o) Anyways I am actually kind of excited to start because he is encouraging a lot of the other "youngish" people that go to our church to attend it so perhaps I will meet some new friends as well. Floyd did say he would come some, but it will probably depend on our childcare situation.
So tonight I started reading Hebrews and the verse that caught my eye was the very last one that I read....2:18 "Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing, he is able to help us when we are being tested." I thought this was a nice reminder of how Jesus was just like us. Sometimes it's hard to imagine that because he certaintly isn't just like us now, but he was at one time. He went through several tests including the ultimate one and they were difficult! I think it's easy for us to think of him as being so superior that nothing must have ever been hard for him, but that's simply not true. If you read the whole Easter story he was basically begging God to let him out of dying on the cross and asking if there were any other way to do it....but as you know there wasn't another way, it needed to be done that way, so he did it! Now, I know my trials and tests are NOTHING compared to that one, so I really shouldn't get down....I should just look to him for help because he does know what it's like....he's been there, done that. That's all for today.
May the Lord Jesus Christ and God our Father give you grace and peace.

pruning...

This post tonight will probably be short and unedited because my internet is being just rediculous! This weekend was a good one...I spent time hangin with the kids since I will be out of town all of next weekend. It will be my first time even staying one night away from Jaylee! It's kinda sad, but I am still excited to go home and see family for a few days. Today our pastor was out of town so we had a substitute pastor which I normally hate cuz it's just really, really not the same. Today it still was far from the same and the sermon was pretty short, but it was good-- It touched on a subject that I think I mentioned just a week or two ago. The speaker was talking about how different plants need pruning in order for them to get more light and produce more fruit and basically the sermon lead to asking us what we needed to prune from our lives to be more fruitful. The pruning in our lives isn't always just cutting away things that are blatant sins, it's simply cutting out anything that's infringing upon our ability to carry out our lives for Him. I have been thinking about what that would be for me and I am sure that I will need to think more about it, but there are a few that are fairly obvious.....less tv & computer time. I actually don't watch much tv at all, but I really don't have time for any (at least on the week days) if I want to be able to be a good wife, mother, and also further God's kingdom. With TV I know there is one program I like to watch during the week so I may limit it to just that and with the computer I will probably just limit my time cuz once I get to surfing on there time flies right by and then later I am sitting there thinking why on earth was I on this thing so long! I would still like to blog on here, but that is something I do after the kids are in bed and I have done my devotions for the day. So that is where I plan to start things. Our regular pastor proposed a challenge to us last week which is the following: for 3 months he would like us to go to worship 1 hr. a week, go to a Bible study once a week, & the serve 1 hr. a week. I have never really done a Bible study before but I took a look at them to see if I could see myself fitting into one....well the obvious one would be the womens Bible study, but to be honest with you I kind of cringe when I think about meeing with so many women all at once! I know that sounds horrible, but it's true. I did however, find another one that looked good....it's just called the life of Jesus. The Bible study will talk about his life and how it affects us today. I think it sounds like it will piece some things together for me a little better. It starts next week, so I have another week to decide for sure. Well it's super late so I am going to cross my fingers & hope this posts & head to bed!

share & don't be afraid.

Tonight I read 1 Timothy and although there were many good little tid bits, 4:5 is what was really meant for me today. It says, "But you should keep a clear mind in every situation. Don't be afraid of suffering for the Lord. Work at telling others the Good News, and fully carry out the ministry God has given you." So the first thing it says is not to be afraid of suffering for the Lord....I know that should probably be easy since he already paid for my life with his own!, but for some reason it still can sound very scarey to me. I guess maybe it's because I always look at Jesus as being so big and strong and myself as just this little ordinary person, that I feel like it's a lot to ask....and well....if I was doing it on my own it would be a lot to ask....BUT...God will give me the strength I need to endure the persecution I must go through. Verse 18 states that He will deliver me from every evil attack and will bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. I really do believe this so now it is time to stop being afraid. I also noticed that it told me to work at telling others the Good News & to carry out the ministry God has given me. Clearly that's something I need to work on and I suppose I could start first by figuring out what ministry God has given me cuz I am really not sure what it is yet. Either way I figure sharing what he's doing in my life on this blog is some kind of a start, right!? :o)
Now on a daily update sort of note....Jaylee's potty training is going well and both of the kids have enjoyed going to the library lately with Auntie Disha during the day. Starting last night I have been feeling sick and it hasn't gone away so that's kind of annoying. I feel like how I felt when I was sick in the Bahamas for two weeks.....which is not good.....really hoping it's not whatever that was! But I have to end on a positive note sooo....I got to watch America's Next Top Model tonight which is a fav of mine & I got a super cute pair of skinny jeans on clearance at Nordstroms! whoop! whoop!

Contentment.....a work in progress.

Well it was back to work today and work was well the norm for me; however, I wish I was able to really explain to everyone what the norm is for my job. I can't really give any details of my job on here because my blog is public, but if you are ever curious you should ask me and I can make up some names to keep confientiality and tell you a few stories. I guess all I can say is the norm for my job would be far from the norm of most jobs, but in a good way! I never really feel like I have a dull day and I really love my job. But anyways....I read 2nd Thessalonians tonight and no offense to Paul but I just wasn't really feeling anything pull me in that book....soooo....I went on to read 1st Timothy and found something towards the very end that is very familiar to me, but I thought I would share it because it took awhile for me to actually really understand it and begin to follow what it speaks about......1 Timothy 6:6-8 "Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can't take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing let us be content." My Mom always would say, "ya can't take anything with when ya leave." And of course I would always reply, "yea, I know," but inside was still having the same desires for things that really didn't matter. It's so easy to slip into the want, want, want mentality with all of the advertisements in our faces every day that are telling us how things are going to make life easier, make us happier, prettier, etc. etc. For those of us that have ventured down that path that comes from believing any part of these claims, we all know that the claims are simply false. There is no material thing that will make you feel permanently happier, prettier, etc. No material things can bring contentment! Contentment can only begin to come when you realize that material things are no part of it and that only your relationship with God and your faith can lead you there because it is the only thing that lasts forever. A very good friend who gave me the Bible I know use wrote this, "Stand firm upon this rock, it's the only truth that lasts forever." How true that is! Everything else will fade away, but His truth will last forever! Through the past 2 years I have been working towards this contentment. I began perging many of my material things.....just as an example: I started with over 60 pairs of shoes/sandals and now I have narrowed myself down to 18 pairs. It's ok, you can laugh, I know I am kinda rediculous....my Dad always calls me Imelda Marcos. But NEways....Perging of my personal belongings felt so good! I did feel much better aftewards, BUT it doesn't mean I never desire to get more things. I still desire different things especially since I LOVE fashion, but I just have to balance things. For example, I set limits on myself with clothing....not in the way of money because if you know me, I can find a deal anywhere....but more so in the amount of things I keep in my closet. If I do get more clothing then I have to get rid of something. This makes things easier because I usually tend to really like the things I have, so I can't get new things unless I am willing to get rid of something that I already have. For this reason I have not gotten a new handbag in quite awhile. :o) The handbags I already have are kind of awesome. :o) This passage also brought something else to mind....while growing up whenever my Dad would pray he would also thank God for what we had and always said that we had so much.....if you knew how I grew up you would probably understand why I was so baffled....(very large family, living on one very small income, hand-me-downs galore, poor in comparison to all of my friends)....I just thought my Dad was a little crazy to be honest. I always thought now how in the world is my Dad considering us to be rich?? Well let's just say I have experienced more since those days and it turns out my Dad was actually right! I have seen that compared to people in other areas we actually were rich materially, but more importantly I realized that we were rich in our relationship with God!....like the verse said, "true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth." Oh, and did I forget to mention my Dad was a pastor and I still questioned things he said often....haha, funny stuff. Well anyways I think I have babbled on enough for one night, hope you can follow it. May God's grace be with you.

A 3 day weekend.

Well this weekend was an extended one and a quite pleasurable one. AND the only thing better than an extra day to my weekend is that the next work week has only 4 days in it! I am getting so old that I can't even remember what all I did this weekend, but I know it was good. I know I spent time w/my family, hung out w/Ashley (which included Rubios & Last Chance, YUM & YEAH!), went to church & taught Sunday School, napped, went to the pool, and went out w/my girl friends. Today we went to drive around a few areas to look at houses. Yea, it's true we are looking at buying down here because things just don't seem to be leading us back to the midwest like I often hope. It's been sort of hard house hunting when I really don't want to buy a house here. Know what I mean? I suppose I should probably just pray about it for some peace and guidance and would also appreciate others prayers as well. Two things that I really like about where we live now is that I really like my job and I really, REALLY love my church! It's the only church I have really liked since I have been out here and I hate the thought of having to find another one if I move to a different part of the valley. (if you ever need a laugh, you can ask me about the first church we visited when I moved out here....haha! oh boy!) Anyways....tonight I read 1 Thessalonians and found 2 little pieces that stuck out to me: 2:4 states...."Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts." I should probably have this posted somewhere for me to see every day because I think I will need the reminder just that often. I think maybe it's part of my personality to want to please others which isn't always a bad thing, but I need to remember that sometimes it's ok for me to not please others because pleasing God is the most important thing. When contemplating what to do or say I need to think about if it would be pleasing to God. The second piece that caught my eye is very simple and self explanatory, but I just really liked it, 4:16-18..."Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances." I think these are 3 good rules for anyone to live by and if one chooses to live by these rules I think they will be full of peace and happiness. This is kind of seperate, but it's something random that I just realized I was thankful for. I am really thankful that I have a husband that sees things differently than I do. I will openly admit that I can be very naive in certain situations. I don't know if it's my personality, how I was raised, or if I am just "slow"....but either way I am glad that my husband see things that I don't and is able to bring them to my attention. I think by me being naive that I sometimes don't guard myself as much as I should and Floyd has helped me see different ways that I need to guard myself and others to avoid unnecessary hurt. He's able to explain things to me calmly and without making me feel really stupid (even if he secretly is thinking I am really stupid at the time :o)). I really appreciate that about him. Well that's all for tonight. I need to go clean and get ready for the work week. May the grace of our Lord Jessus Christ be with you.

a new pair of eyes....

I feel like I got a new pair of eyes this week. It's really strange. I guess it goes back to the new perspective I have, but I feel like I am seeing my world in different eyes now. Just within this week I have already realized different things that I say or do that are good or bad for me &/or others around me. I have pinpointed different relationships I have with different people and the good and bad things that can or have resulted from them. Now don't get me wrong a lot of these things I am now seeing, (that I plan to change), really appear to be nothing earth shattering, but they are very small things that I believe in the whole scheme of things DO & WILL make a very big difference. I always thought of myself as being mature before and (at least the past 4 years) have always had people tell me how mature I am for my age, but I guess ones perspective goes beyond maturity. Maturity does shape ones perspective but so does the wisdom they gain from their faith/religion. I am not sure if this post will make any sense to anyone, but it was an attempt to share so I think I should at least get some credit. :o)
On a seperate note today is Floyd and my 5th yr. anniversary! Last night we had free tickets to go to a Cardinals game so we did that and it was nice to spend time with just us 2 (even though it was hard to leave the kids), and it was cool to see the stadium because I had never been inside before. Tonight we are going to spend some time together with the kids and perhaps we will go out to dinner one of the other nights over this 3 day weekend. Anyways....I am off to go play with the kids now! God Bless.

a great day indeed.

Well today was another delightful day! At work I found out that I am getting a larger raise than I had expected and I got a great coupon to my favorite restaurant  in my email! BONUS! This coupon happens to be the favorite restaurant of my best friend in the valley too, so I will entice her with it to hang out this weekend :o)--& no, I don't always have to bribe my friends to hang out with me....just sometimes. :o) (p.s. did I spell restaurant correctly? I am too lazy to look it up right now & also too lazy to figure out if there is spell check on this blog thing) Anyways....Floyd, the kids, and I went out to the track tonight which is always fun. Malaki loves to tear around the track and especially sprint around kicking his soccer ball. I can't wait to sign him up for some soccer lessons w/other little tots in a few months. Tonight since I didn't cook dinner I decided to bake M&M cookies....I am pretty sure they were way better than any dinner I could have cooked....so I ate 3.
Today's reading for me was Colossians which offered many many topics one could delve into, but I am way tired tonight cuz I haven't been sleeping much this week so I will just highlight my two favorite verses.
3:6 "Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." I would like to think of myself as a forgiving person, but I think I have certain lines that when crossed (especially repeatedly), make it more difficult for me to be forgiving. I know it's a very normal thing, but still I need to keep in mind that some of the very things I do are probably offensive to others and certaintly offensive to God, but he still forgives me as many times as I need it.
Then there was 4:6&7 "Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversations be gracious and attractive..." It's just a reminder to myself that I am a witness at all times to those around me and that my every day actions and words are going to speak volumes about myself and about the one I am serving. It also struck me that it says to make the most of every opportunity....if I don't look for opportunities or if I shy away from them, they are going to pass me by. This blog was a start because I do have many non-believing friends and even those who are believers it's just hard for me to talk about my relationship with God because it was so different up until recently. This blog is a start for me to seize the opportunities I have....some may say it's not that bold, but for me it is & I do plan to become even more bold. One step at a time.
May God's Grace be with you.

a whole new perspective.

Soooo.....I have noticed lately that I must have a different perspective on things than I previously did. I have begun to notice different situations that have arose where in the past I would find my self slightly annoyed or offended or angry....and well now, they just don't seem to bother me at all. They are the very things that I had tried to improve myself and at times things would improve, but not like how they are just recently. I guess I am realizing how much easier things become when you decide to let God be your pilot instead of just a passenger. It's just kind of unreal. I don't even know how I got to this point, but I am soooo glad that I am here. Tonight I read the last two chapters of Phillippians and this passage stuck out to me....it's so amazing & I can't believe I never underlined it before...(3:8-9) "Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God's way of making us right with himself depends on faith." I have began to feel what this passage says; there are many things that used to be of importance to me that just don't matter any more.....they are absolute garbage compared to having a relationship with Christ. Sometimes things aren't necessarily "bad" in and of themselves, but they just become things that get in the way of your relationship with Christ for various reasons and therefore they must be gotten rid of. I also like the second part too where it talks basically about trying to save yourself  by "following all the rules". I think there are a lot of people who feel that is what one is to do in order to be in God's favor and although I knew people had always told me there was more to it I didn't really understand all the rest of it so I guess I just tried to do my best to do what I knew.  And sorry to do this but I just have to throw in another scripture that grabbed me...(4:6&7) "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as your live in Christ Jesus." I have this awesome kind of peace right now and it really does exceed anything we can understand. I want everybody else to be able to experience the kind of peace and happiness I have right now because it's just so unreal!! Haha, I guess people will start calling me a Jesus FREAK now! :o) It's ok, I'll own it. :o)
On a seperate note work was good, but a little crazy as always. I had a brownie sundae for the 4th day in a row and it was just as amazing as it was on day 1, YUM! I took the kids to the pool & I think Jaylee may actually swim better than Malaki-it's weird, they both love the water, but for some reason I think she was born swimming or something. Dinner was not that successful : o (, no details. I took Malaki to buy a toy bus he wanted with his piggy bank money, but he was short $2 so I told him he had to clean some stuff at the house for me. He told me he would clean the windows for me tomorow & then told me maybe he would clean more stuff for money $. Haha! Yea, he's only 3! I also watched part of a good movie and got to talk to another college friend on FB IM which was nice. Now that it's way super late I gotta go squish into bed where Floyd & Malaki have already been asleep for hours.
May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace.

Best Friends...

I know lots of people really don't like Mondays and like to complain about them, but I think Mondays are alright. This week's Monday was actually fantastic! Why you may ask?? Well because I got to talk to two of my very best friends. I talked to my best friend from high school, (even if only over facebook IM), and she is absolutely hysterical! I'm not even sure she tries to make me laugh half the time, but she does and I love it! I get to see her in less than 3 weeks and I am pretty pumped about that! She is pretty much an adopted 13th member of the VeenKant siblings so naturally she will be going to my cousins wedding with us. Good times will be had by all. :o) My other best friend is from college and it's so good to talk to her because I didn't get to talk to her for practically 2 years when she was out of the country. We have talked a few times since she has been back and as an hour on the phone passes it feels like about 15 minutes to me. She is just such a great all around person and her laugh is one of the best I've heard :o) Not sure when I will see her next because we live across the country from one another, but I am plotting! Other than my pleasant conversations with my best friends I also had a good day at work, fun time hanging out with my kids (even though I managed to get a puncture wound on my hand in the process, don't ask), and made yummy cinnamon rolls. Tonight I read Philippians 1 & 2 and a few things stuck out to me: 1. 1:6 says, "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." I found this interesting because it lets us know that God has already begun working on us, but pretty much here on earth we will always be a work in progress because the process will not be finished until he returns. 2. 2:14 states "Do everything without complaining or arguing..." hmmm....yea, let's just say that's a tough one. I know I certaintly have things that set me off on my little complaining or arguing rampages and I really need to work on that. The unfortunate piece to that is that I honestly think I do it more at home....& I think the reason I do it at home is because I know that there isn't people judging me there...it's just my husband and although I know he doesn't like it, I know that he'll forgive me and look past it. But I shouldn't just continue knowing he'll see past it, I really need to change it because he does not deserve my little annoying complaint rampages :o) So let the progress begin.....NOW! I'll just call it one of my anniversary presents to him :o)....it is coming up this Friday!! That's all for tonight!
May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace.

Emotions.....they sure can be strange sometimes...

Well I know I didn't write Friday night because I was just kinda busy/taking time to relax and then Saturday I had time to write, but didn't feel inspired, but here I am Sunday and I think I am ready to write about something. Today I went to church just as I do every Sunday and I had one of those Sundays that I have every once in awhile....we were singing some amazing worship songs and I had an incredible urge to just burst into tears...like so much that I had to stop singing at certain parts and as much as I tried to fight it, a few little tears streaked out of my eyes. (Lucky for Floyd he wasn't at church with me today because he gets so embarassed if I ever cry in public and he just hates that I cry in general, he doesn't get the whole crying thing....I think it's another thing to add to the long list of cultural differences.) NEways....this whole urge to cry, it's not like a bad cry....it's a good one! It's hard to identify all that I am feeling at the time, but it's kind of like I'm feeling so happy that God chose me and is always with me and watching over me and guiding, providing, etc.  It also feels as if all the hurt I have had from various things in my life doesn't even matter anymore....it's just gone & I feel so lucky, so loved, and so at peace. It's like I am just bursting with all these positive emotions that I don't even know what to say, what to think, or how to act.....so apparently that makes me feel like I should cry my eyes out....haha! that makes no sense, but it's ok, it doesn't have to! During worship we sang two of my new favorite songs which I don't know the titles to, but the one is talking about how God never lets go of us and is with us through everything. I really like the song, not because I am so worried about Him staying with me through things now, but more so because I can't believe he stuck with me for so long until everything finally "clicked" and I got this whole relationship with Christ. I mean seriously, I was a preacher's kid, had great family influences and went to (in my opinion) the best Christian university out there, but still failed to 100% "get" the whole Christian thing. I guess I am just a really slow learner.....so I am glad that God loves us slow learners just as much as the rest. :o) The other song is one that talks about not wanting to live by just going through the motions. I am pretty sure I have been going through the motions a good majority of the time and it's just so great now to realize that I have the ability to live my life as more than that. So yea....I know this is all kind of random, but I am really trying to be open and share what I am going through.
OH &....I actually raised my hands a little while we were singing worship songs in church today....never really had anything against people who did that, just never felt the need to do it myself. Not sure what all is going on with me, but I know that I like it. :o) On a lighter note my weekend was splendid with a MOPS meeting with friends, a morning run & breakfast with another friend, pool time with the kids, relaxing with Floyd, and a nice little outting with the whole family. I should head to bed now though.
May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace.

LONG lessons....

Do you ever feel like God teaches you a lesson through something and it seems to be a really, REALLY long one?? I am still in the middle of one of those right now and I am wondering when it will complete itself. I was sitting here and thinking to myself/sort of talking to God and thinking you know, I got this, I get the lesson, haven't I passed yet so I can stop suffering the consequences and move on!? But then I remembered, hmmm....who am I to tell God when I have learned the lesson He is trying to teach me? I didn't create the lesson, HE did. I may have learned a lesson, but maybe I haven't learned it fully or maybe there is more to it that I haven't gotten yet. So here I am, telling myself to be patient, and to be open to learning more, and to not worry about the suffering part because God won't give me more than I can handle and He will be there through it all. So am I the only one with the extended lessons or are there others right now in the middle of a big unit plan or something?? Let me know, it may make me feel better. :o) On a seperate note, I finally got a new pair of running shoes so I need to get back to pounding the pavement again cuz there is nothing better than that! My runs will undoubtedly (sp?) give me more randrom things to write about because I think a lot during my runs and my thoughts are always daisy-chaining. And I will end this with one of the verses that I read last night: "...for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan." (Ephesians 1:11)
May the Lord our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace.

Fall is on its way folks!

Don't let this 108 degree weather in Phoenix fool you, I am convinced that fall is on its way! Why you may ask?? Well, because I bought leggings and a long sleeve plaid shirt at Target tonight during my 2 hour shopping extravaganza with Jaylee. I think that God will honor my purchases and send cooler weather our way :o) That makes complete sense right? Well either way, I am at least going to wear them around my house in my air conditioning and pretend like there is fall weather. I actually looked for pumpkin last weekend to make pumpkin bread but I couldn't find any at the grocery store....what's up with that!? If nothing else, I go to Indiana & Michigan in about 3 1/2 weeks (I think), for a long weekend so I can get a dose of fall weather then. Oh man, I am going to have to get a hot chocolate too! Now I can't wait!! NEways... I road my new bike to school today and it was quite nice except for the part I anticipated....carrying it up the stairs when I got back home! I know you are probably thinking, wow Jodi with all those muscles you have I would have thought you carried it up with one pinky, but don't let those muscles fool you folks, it was quite the challenge. On probably the second stair I managed to hit my little shin pretty hard on the petal which ripped off a little skin and gave me a little goose egg THEN...about 3 steps from the top I started to lose my balance and nearly fell backwards, but I quickly through all of my weight forwards....phew! close call! Needless to say I think I will leave my bike at the bottom of the stairs for Floyd to bring up tomorow when he gets home. Well that's all for today, no deep thoughts, just a snapshot of pieces of my day.
Random verse I felt like adding:
"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it." (John 1:5)

New Bikes & some random thoughts on the ride home...

So today was the day our bikes came in! Malaki got his first bicycle complete with training wheels. His bike is red, blue, and yellow and he and his Dad picked it out on the internet together. Prior to this bike he had only ridden a tricycle which allowed one to pedal backwards or forwards, so when Malaki found this bike could only go forwards he was sure it was broken and had Daddy bust out his tool set. After a little tinkering around he decided that his bike was ok. When Floyd ordered Malaki’s bike he also decided to secretly order one for me as well. (About 6 months ago my beloved beach cruiser was stolen and I have been without a bike since then.) The bike is a very light green, cream, and brown and I really like it! He also got me a new and better lock and a basket to put on front! Floyd thought I was crazy, but I road it home from the store….which is just about 4 ½ miles, but not the most normal area to ride your bike….oh well, I did it & I loved it. The bike ride was like my runs and I started on a string of thoughts stemmed from something an old friend wrote on his FB status. A few weeks back a friend of mine wrote something along these lines, “Look at your own sin with the same disgust you look at others sins.” Well ok, when I first read this I thought well of course I do. I was thinking more simply; for example, I am disgusted by someone stealing and I would be just as disgusted if I myself stole something. Then I thought deeper because obviously there had to be more by this statement….….I believe that it was hinting towards looking at all sins as being equal and not looking down on those who commit sins that are more obvious or disgusting to you then perhaps the sins you yourself commit. I have been taught and have believed for years that all sins are equal and as some say “a sin is a sin is a sin.” Even though I had been taught this and claimed to believe it my own thoughts were not following this. I started to realize that there are still some sins that others committed that I was holding against them. I need to realize that I am a sinner just like everyone else and I would hate for others to hold my sins against me because it was “obvious” or “disgusting” to them. I also began to think about how our culture and society molds our minds and how we feel about different sins. As a Christian I may be “different” than society as a whole, but society is still continually affecting the way I look at things whether I like it or not. The next time I find myself in the seat of judging someone else for their sins I plan to remind myself of what an old friend said and look at my own sin with the same disgust that I am looking at theirs. I believe this will lead me towards fixing my own sins and not focusing on others. I hope that makes at least a little bit of sense to at least one person who reads this.
I think I better go figure out how to hook up my basket on my new ride! Woop woop! :o) Yup, that's right, just picture that bad boy up above with a basket! I'm pretty gangster.
May the grace of the Lord Jesus be with you. My love to all of you in Christ Jesus.

To blog or not to blog??...That is the question.

So I have mixed feelings about the whole idea of blogging. Initially I thought blogging was the most ridiculous thing ever…..I mean, why on earth would anyone want to basically put their diary online for everyone to see??? It seemed much too revealing and therefore silly to me. After reading just a select few people’s I have begun to see some point in it depending on how one blogs. One particular blog that I read is of a young woman whom I believe inspires so many and has no idea. People are able to be inspired and also learn from her life experiences and the inner thoughts she shares with her blog followers because she is willing to put her whole self out there. Those that know me would probably agree that I am not a very shy person at all, but for some reason I still have a problem letting people know my inner thoughts. I am not sure why I feel this way….I guess maybe I have felt like people would make fun of the way I think and tell me it wasn’t right or something along those lines. In general, I have always felt that I didn’t quite look at things the same as others and had different thoughts than others……this was true UNTIL I had the pleasure of getting to know others more intimately through their blogs or just on a more personal level….turns out, I am not as weird or unique as I thought :o) I think many of us have “different” thoughts, but few are willing to share any of those thoughts that would portray us as less than perfect or that would make us stand apart from the norm. I applaud those who are willing to share their inner thoughts and struggles because I truly believe that it can help others with various situations in their own lives. At this moment I am still unsure how much of myself I am going to be able to reveal but I have decided that it is time to sort of “pay it forward”…..meaning others who have been willing to share their lives have made a difference in my life so maybe I ought to share my life so that (maybe) it can make a difference in someone else’s. How often will I blog? I have no idea, but all I can say is that I will try. What will I talk about? Whatever is upon my heart that I am able to put into words. And this concludes my first blog post! May the grace of the Lord Jesus be with you. My love to all of you in Christ Jesus.