sharing block....

So I guess I have sort of hit a sharing block on my blog. I haven't written as much just recently because I am hesitant to talk about what's been on my mind. Although this blog is for sharing I typically try to write things in such a way that would only reveal information about myself and not anyone else...so that's kind of where I am stuck. So for now I will just talk about other things.... I have turned my walked to work in the morning into a prayer walk and I am really liking that. My sister just sent me a book called "The Power of a Praying Wife" which is pretty decent so far. I am relating to a few things I have read and also read a few reminders for myself. I have homework this week for my Bible Study class and I am not sure how I feel about it....all I did was glance at it and it brought flash backs of my college days in Old Testament when I had to get a tutor! hahaha. Apparently someone in my Bible class suggested we get homework.....I would like to pummel that person. :o) And now I am starting to fall asleep sitting here because I am so tired.....so I must go.
May God our Father give you grace and peace.

I need to beef up!

Nope, I'm not talking about my muscles cuz let's be honest, we all know that my muscles are all beefed up already:o).....So I was just thinking tonight....now that I am really clicking w/God and am in a really good place I really REALLY need to beef up my knowledge of the Bible so that I can witness to others and help others. I do the best I can at the moment, but I think that I could really benefit from more knowledge. Witnessing to others can be scary enough to me as it is, but it would really help if I had a solid foundation to stand on. I want to be confident so I don't get all tripped up when talking with others about God. I am in a Bible study right now that's already helping, but I need to continue to read the Bible, but also read supplementary stuff too. Does anyone have any suggestions of books I should read? Either comment or message me on FB if you do. Thanks!

Lindsey comes in 3 days & I am VERY excited! This weekend should be a blast and I will be sure to write a little bit about it after it ends. :o)

May God our Father give you grace and peace.

a mixed weekend.

Overall I must say that this weekend was a pretty good one but for some reason it was pretty up & down for me. I know that this blog is for me to share things, but I am not sure I want to go there right now for various reasons, perhaps later though. In the sadness I experienced this weekend  I realized a lot of things about myself and so I am grateful for that. Saturday morning I got to meet with my mentor for the first time and it was wonderful! We ended up walking & talking for close to 2 hours w/o even realizing it! We talked about various things, and I can already tell she is going to be a great mentor! She is very easy to talk to and the way she explains things makes a lot of sense to me. Today we had a church picnic after church & I have to say it's really nice to finally have a place to go to where multiple people come up & say hi & ask me how I am, etc. I know that probably sounds very weird to most people, but living in a city and especially a city where you original knew no one can be very isolating. Back home when you went out you always ran into someone you knew....I can say after living out here for 5 years that has only happened to me a handful of times & I am out and about a lot! I guess the point I am getting at is that I am starting to feel more comfortable here & feeling very blessed by where God has placed me. On a way seperate note I did a lot of cleaning this weekend, including the carpets and MAN does it make me feel so much better! My bff from HS comes on Fri. & I am pretty excited for that....just gotta get through the week first :o)
I will leave you all with 2 verses from tonight"s reading:
1Peter 4:8 "Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins."
1 Peter 5:7 "Give all you worries & cares to God, for he cares about you."

When I've learned the most....

It seems as though ever since I reached the age of 16, each year seems like I am learning so much. I at first felt like I learned a lot through my jr. & sr. yr. of HS, but then came college & boy, oh boy did I learn a lot then! Then of course, I moved a few thousand miles away from home, got married, and started a career....of course that brought many lessons. Shortly after that came along Malaki....& then Jaylee & to have to balance a family w/work, school, etc. So, WOW, I sure have learned a ton within the last 10-11 years and I guess what I realized is that I don't think it'll ever stop. More recently the things I have been learning has more to do with my relationship with God & how much that affects everything single thing in my life. It's really weird because it has made me more understanding of some things and in other ways it sometimes make me feel like an alien to the world I live in. Anyone know what I mean or experience the same thing? Tonight I was reading some in 1 Peter and came across this passage: "So think clearly and exercise self-control. Look forward to the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world. So you must live as God's obedient children. Don't slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn't know any better then. But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy." (1:13-15) I like this passage because it's a warning and a promise....it remind us to live right, but also tells us what will await us. In the past I was sometimes hesitant to fully commit to God because I knew a lot would be expected of me and I just didn't think I could do it. Now, I really want to live for Him and it's actually not that hard. Last night in Bible study Pastor Brian mentioned that we all can do many things as long as we just WANT it. So then I was asking myself what do I want? And here are my desires.....
1.I want to live as a witness and servant for him.
2. I want to be a godly wife and mother.
3. I want to be healthy.
4. I want to be happy.
All of these things will continually be a work in progress, but there will always be progress as long as I WANT it! Also, I think #4 will come naturally as the other wants are fulfiled. :o)

On a completely seperate note, I noticed on Mon. when I was walking home from work that  Platos closet just opened only 1/4 mile from my house!!! Woohoo! You can imagine my excitement:o) So tonight I brought a few things by and was able to purchase 5 items and still get about 40 bucks back! YES! Just a small slice of heaven for me having that store so close by. There was so much good stuff in there too since it's in Scottsdale! Anyways I am off to bed.
May God our Father give you grace and peace.

Im not doing it!

So I read a friend's blog tonight that had a short list of things that she'd like to swear she will never do. I thought it was a neat idea so thought I would do one myself. Just as she said in hers, these things I am saying I would like to swear I would never do aren't meant to judge people who do, do these things....it's just my personal feeling on them......& never is a strong word so I don't know if I can promise, but I would like to. Here it goes....
1. I will never buy a new Coach purse....yup, I'll admit there are a few pretty cute ones, but seriously!? why on earth do they cost so much? It's just absurd and I'd rather not have the same exact purse as everyone else anyhow.
2.I will never compromise my morals just because they make someone else uncomfortable....now don't get me wrong, I won't think it's ok to shove your beliefs downs someone's throat, but I also believe people should hold strong to their moral convictions without wavering....if someone else is uncomfortable with them, it's really their problem, not yours.
3. I will never dye my hair black....I have probably dyed it about every other color under the sun, but black is just never happening.
4. I will never forget the friends and family that have loved and supported me through so much in my life. (you know who you are ;o))
5. I will never cut my hair short and perm it like most old ladies.--I think if my hair gets that bad I'll just invest in some cute wigs or something....I'm pretty sure you are allowed to pull off anything when you are old and senile. Besides my sisters and I made my Mom promise she would never do that so it would probably be pretty hypocritical if I did not follow suit.
6. I will never lose my faith because HIS word is the only truth that lasts forever.
7. I will never stop eating sweets.....well unless it's absolutely life or death....otherwise it's out of the question!
8. I will never understand how everything works in this world....economy, politics, electronics...
9. I will never work at a job where I feel I am making no difference in the world; (however small it may be.) But with that said, I kinda feel like any job I could possibly hold I could create a way in which I felt I was positively impacting the world.
10. I will never get voluntary plastic surgery...it's not that I just think my body is so great, (cuz trust me it;s NOT, especially after 2 kids), but becaue I think it's a slap in the face to God in a way and I think it's putting yourself in a dangerous situation for a very unneccessary reason. If someone feels like they need plastic surgery there is a good chance they have got some other underlying issues to resolve.
So there is a 10 of them....getting tired now....today was a great day!...I got to see an old high school friend that I had not seen probably since my wedding and I got to shop a little. :o) Tomorrow morning I am going to visit a college friend and her two little kiddies, and then some of my sis's will start trickling in town. :o) Night~
May God our Father give you grace and peace.

lots of thinking going on...

So I have been doing lots of thinking over this vacation of mine, but I just haven't thought of which of it I would like to put into words or how....so I am still thinking.....so I guess the title of this blog is a teaser :o) The vacation has been a good ones thus far and I am looking forward to seeing some of my sisters this weekend. If you would like to see pics you just have to look at my facebook.:o) So since I teased you with the title I instead will now tell you 5 random things about me:
1. I burp very loud and get great satisfaction from doing so, and for some reason seem to burp more when I am at my parents house...perhaps I regress when I am home. :o)
2. I ran a marathon last year and qualified for the Boston Marathon which beforehand I was sure I wanted to do....but after the marathon I have had no desire to do one ever again. haha
3.I have not been working out for about 2 months and it has caused me to lose weight rather than gain it.
4. Even though sometimes I complain about staying up and cleaning when everyone goes to bed in my house, I actually kind of like being the last one up and checking on everyone and "closing things down."
5. I have actually peed my pants twice when I was in school.....once on the first day of kindergarten because I was too scared to go in their bathroom that had such a powerful flush, I thought for sure I would get sucked down in there....& we won't talk about the 2nd time today. :o)
That's all for tonight....may God our Father bring you grace and peace.
**and once again, I am on vacation so I am not editing!

In between...

You know that age you were growing up when you felt like you were to old to sit at the kiddie table at family gatherings, but the adults were too old and boring to sit with still? Well I kind of have a similar feeling. I am 27 years old with two kids which to me seems perfectly normal to me, but unfortunately it's really not super normal where I live or maybe I should say withint he groups of people I know. The good majority of my friends in Phx are actually a year or two older than me and have no kids and most aren't even married. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything wrong with that, but it just makes me feel awkward sometimes. Ya know, I feel like I am still kind of young and goofy, but I have kids so obviously I have other priorities than those do that do not have kids. Also, ya know how there are some Moms that are like over-the-top kind of Moms? --(I call them super mommish)--well I would like to think that I am a good Mom, but not super Mommish. Super mommish Moms kind of bother me because I feel like they have no life whatsoever outside of there kids and it's almost like you can't talk to them about anything, but there kids. So sometimes I feel stuck between two worlds. This is a big part of the reason I sometimes ache to come back to the midwest....I know a decent amount of people from college that live in the midwest that are around my age with kids and it seems more normal to live that way in the midwest. Besides having other people I can relate more too, I'd also like for my kids to have playmates. Church has helped with this a bit, but unfortunately the Mom's I know from work either have very different work schedules than me, lives farther away, or have lots of stuff going on. So that's where I am at with that....sorry it was kind of complaining, but it's just how I feel so often. I am in Michigan right now sitting in my Dad's chair with a long sleeve on, yoga pants, two pairs of socks, I closed all the windows in this room, and I'm still cold! Don't get me wrong it was an absolutely beautiful day, I just am a true Valley of the Sun girls now and anything under 90 feels cold. Today the kids and I went for a walk, played at the park, went to Walmart, played ball, and went on a little hike. It's so pretty here right now so I really should take some photos--I am so bad at doing that because I never want to stop and take them cuz I don't want to miss the moment I am having with them....but I will try! Oh & I should get a pic of my "5th grade bangs" that I'm rockin right now. :o) That's all for today.
May God our Father give you grace and peace.
P.S. I didn't edit this, don't judge me, I'm on vacation. :o)

Hebrews 13:8....

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever."
Such a simple verse, but one that means so much! It reminds me of something my Mom said to me a few different times when I have been really upset and hurt by people I thought cared about me....she would say, "People are always going to let you down, but God never will...I might even let you down, but God NEVER will." I relate her words to this verse because by her saying that I think she was telling me that people change, people are flawed....but God, he's not! In the world we live in where so much can change from day to day, it's nice to know that there is one thing that is constant, one thing you can depend on no matter what! Now Hebrews 13 had so much good stuff it in that I could write the whole chapter here, but I won't and I will just tell you to go read it! do it! :o) The chapter is just concluding words, but they are good ones!
Well I need to go wrap up this second loaf of pumpkin bread I made this week--YUM! & head to bed cuz I am wiped out again...(p.s. oh, how I wish I could write work stories on this blog!! some days are just unbelievable! haha)
May God our Father give you grace & peace.

what if I don't have a good story?

I have always loved when people share their testimonies at church because I find them so inspiring and so fascinating. It's amazing hearing what God is able to do in other people's lives...BUT.....then it also get's me thinking....what's my story? The thing is, I don't really have a cool story! No near death experiences, no childhood trauma, no unideal circumstances, etc... This makes for a very boring testimony which is unfortunate because the internal change I feel is so great! If I could put into words the little things in my life that have changed and those feelings I have inside me I would, but I am still not sure it would be a testimony anyone would want to sit and listen to. Oh well though....I guess giving a testimony may not be my calling right now, which is totally ok with me since I'm not really big on public speaking anyways. :o) If anyone wants to share their testimony with me message me through facebook because I would love to hear it! That's all for tonight because I am sooo tired I keep misspelling every single word!
May God our Father give you grace and peace.

Yup, a song again...

So growing up we were only ever allowed to listen to Christian music in my house which of course bothered me as I got older, not because I didn't like the music, but just because I liked other stuff as well & maybe it also bothered me a little because all my friends always told me how weird it was that we were only allowed to listen to Christian music  :o)....(random sidenote....I can still remember when I was in 5th or 6th grade and my Dad busted me listening to the Hot Stepper song on my little radio headphones...haha!). Once I moved out I listened to whatever music I pleased which consisted of very little Christian music. Well now I am getting back into it again....before when I listened to music I listened just for a beat I liked or catchy lyrics which seem to pop up more in secular music, but when you are in the mood for listening to peaceful and meaningful music I'm gonna have to go with Christian music (& some culture reggae). The song I shared last week on my blog, I was sharing with a co-worker of mine and she shared a song with me that was her current favorite. The song is called, "More Like Falling in Love" by Jason Gray. I had never heard of the song before so I wrote it down and said I would look it up at home. That night I went home & listened to it on my itunes and immediately downloaded it! The song is simply amazing and sums up a lot of feelings I have right now. Here are the lyrics: (please read them, but more importantly if you haven't heard the song you should definitely listen to it):
Give me rules, I will break them.
Show me lines, I will cross them.
I need more than a truth to believe.
I need a truth that lives, moves, & breaths.
To sweep me off my feet, it's gotta be....
More like falling in love, than something to believe in.
More like losing my heart, than giving my allegiance.
Caught up, called out, come take a look at me now.
It's like I'm falling, oh, it's like I'm falling in love.
GIve me words, I'll misuse them,
Obligations, I'll misplace them. 
Cause all religion ever made of me was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet.
It never set me free, it's gotta be....
More like falling in love, than something to believe in.
More like loseing my heart, than giving my allegiance.
Caught up, called out, come take a look at me now.
It's like I'm falling, oh, it's like I'm falling in love, love, love.
Deeper and deeper, it was love that made me a believer.
It's more than a name, a faith, or a creed,
Falling in love with Jesus brought the change in me.

I really, really like everything about this song, but I will share a few particular parts. In the beginning when it talks about breaking rules and crossing lines....that was always kind of me. I would follow rules and not cross lines if I saw the point in them, but if I did not, I would push the limits however far I felt I needed to. And the part where it talks about it being more like losing your heart than giving an allegiance...that's what I feel right now. I feel the holy spirit moving so much in mylife right now that it's almost not even an option but to follow Him and believe in Him. It's a really an amazing feeling. And where it talks about religion not setting you free....that's exactly what I felt like....I could say and act like a Christian all day long, but none of that brought any lasting change in me...I didn't feel a change until I was just swept off my feet. It's really weird cuz to be honest, I can't even put a finger on what all of the sudden changed in my life that made me feel this way. Usually people have a certain event that they can place which was sort of a turning point and for some reason I don't have that. I don't know if maybe there kind of was one and I forgot or what. I sort of wish I had some cool story, but I don't :o) haha. It's ok though....cuz I know the change is there because I feel like a whole new person. So if anybody reads this I would love to know what you thought of the song!

Comfort Activity.....

I think everyone has something they do to help them feel comforted during different times. Some of us eat certain foods, some may watch certain movies, or make ourselves busy w/various tasks or activities. Some of us realize we do these things and even do them intentionally while others don't realize in the moment that they are doing that. My comfort activity is shopping. I love, LOVE to shop any time, but I especially like to shop when I am stressed out. Someone who has looked at some past credit card statements would see that ;o /......it's something I am working on for a few reasons: 1. obviously I don't want to spend $ I don't have or waste $ I do have, but also 2. when I am trying to comfort myself with shopping I am not allowing God to be my comfort. I need to realize that it's not only OK, but it's necessary to rely on God...he wants us to! I did spend some time locating and downloading a few new worship songs over the weekend.....one of which I played quite a bit and then it was the first song they sang when I got into church this morning. :o) Love my church! (which daisy chains me into another thought)....I am really starting to feel more at home where I am at....which is sort of one of my stressors right now...there is still part of me that misses my family & friends so much  & hates missing things at home and when I think of getting a house here I don't know what to do because the area I live in is pretty expensive to buy a home in....but I really, really don't want to move to another part of the valley. I am going to pray that God would open some opportunities for housing close to where we rent now or that he would make clear the alternative plans because right now there are so many options and I just am clueless and to what to do. In less than a week I will be at home with my family which I am very excited about. I need to relax and soak up the time with them because after this the next time I will be home will likely be next summer because the holidays are just too expensive to travel and the weather is unpredictable with flights and all. Well that's all for tonight because I need to go do some cleaning and whatnot.
May God our Father give you grace & peace.

He never lets go....

So I know I have been blog slacking and it's late again tonight, but I really wanted to leave the lyrics to a very powerful song.....I think I mentioned it once earlier in a blog, but I found out the name & found the lyrics. If you have not heard it you should definitely google it. I have it on my ipod and to be honest the guy singing it is really not even my kind of music, but it's just such a powerful song and I just LOVE it!

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, your perfect love is casting out fear.
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life, I won't turn back, I know you are near.
And I will fear no evil, for my God is with me. And if my God is with me, whom then shall I fear? Whom then shall I fear?
Oh no, you never let go, through the calm and through the storm.
Oh no, you never let go, in every high, in every low.
Oh no, you never leg go, Lord you never let go of me.
And I can see the light that is coming for the heart that holds on, a glorious light beyond all compare.
And there will be an end to these troubles, but until that day comes, we'll live to know you here on the earth.
ETC.

If you already know this song or if you look it up for the first time & listen to it please comment and let me know what you think.

Tomorrow's the weekend....PTL! I'm kind of dying here....just lack of sleep & some stresses. So thankful for weekends and time with my family!
I promise I will try very hard to write a REAL blog this weekend. gnite!