FaItH.

Hebrews 11 talks all about faith; the very first verse of the chapter gives a definition of faith, "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." Then there is verse 6 which reads as follows, "And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him." The rest of the chapter goes on to talk about numerous times throughout the Bible where faith saves peoples lives. It was a neat little chapter to read which held my oh-so-tired mind this evening. It sort of had me thinking about the amount of faith I have in God.....I do have faith, but there are doubts that creep in my mind from time to time....these doubts creep in for a few reasons: 1. because there are so many skeptical people in our world that are always countering every claim of God that it allows some doubt to creep in if one is not careful & 2. I am such a logical and decently intelligent person that I start to think that it all needs to make perfect sense to me in order for me to have faith. About 5 years ago I was talking to a non-Christian friend about God and he said something that made complete and perfect sense....he said, "I think it totally makes sense to have a God that allows things to happen that we can't understand because why would I want to serve a God that was only just as smart as me, what would be the point." I believe that's a great way to look at things. As a human I tend to want everything to make sense to me, but then what would be the point of having and serving a God? I need to truly accept the following: (Isaiah 55:9) "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts then your thoughts." That's all for tonight. My God our Father give you grace and peace.

Givin stuff to God....

No, these headbands are not what I was referring to in the title of this blog.... I just wanted to include a pic to show people my latest love in the fashion world!! I love, LOVE these headbands with the chunks of felt with all types of beads, sequens and pearls glued on them. I have been told that they are at a last season thing; however, I have to kindly disagree beause the ones I saw out last season were more like flowers and peacock feathers and things of that nature....which I did venture into the flower ones, but didn't like them nearly as much as I love these ones!! Just sayin...:o).....
So now referring to my title...."givin stuff to God,"....I'm not talking about stuff like money, time, or any other material thing....I'm talking stuff like issues or difficult situations going on in my life. I was thinking about how it doesn't even make sense of why I have such a hard time doing it. If I am in a tough situation or have issues bothering me why do I want to keep them?? Shouldn't I be glad that someone would like to take over these issues/situations for me??  Perhaps it's because I am a take charge type of person that always thinks I can fix everything or at least make it better. Or maybe it's just that I like to help and give so much that I feel like that should be enough to fix things. I dunno where the root of it all is, but all I know is that I need to change it. I should be glad that I have a God who loves to help me in all situations, especially poopy ones! I mean seriously it's not like God's trying to take my cute bejeweled headands....it's more like he wants my broken one from last season. (I don't know if that made sense to anyone, but it did in my head, so I'm leavin it!) So anyways....basically today there was something bugging me and it was making me pretty upset and the one thing that made me feel better was when I prayed about the issue with Malaki before he went to bed, (the issue has nothing to do w/him BTW).....but there was just something about praying out loud that gave me a peace and made me feel so much better! I must do that more often.
On a different note....I am no longer the owner of a Titan, Floyd traded it in this weekend for an Altima which is quite nice. Floyd ran some kind of cost analysis & said it was better to do this.....I don't ask questions, I just remind him his whole career is about financial analysis and forecasting so I trust him. I also trusted his judgment on the car because I never saw it til he came home with it in the dark and I had to leave with the car 15 min. later to meet some friends. The car is very nice looking and fancy by my standards, (which are probably not that high). :o) OK, must head to bed now so I can start of the week right!
May God our Father give you grace and peace.

Hope. Love. Encourage.

Hebrews 10:23-25 "Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near."

This scripture sounds familiar so I am sure that I have heard it in a sermon before or in between snoozing in my college New Testament class :o) (sorry Dr. Smith), but I REALLY liked reading it myself. This scripture clearly lays out how we should function....have hope, love one another, & encourage one another. As I mentioned in a previous post part of this challenge our pastor gave us was to do an hour of service for the church each week. I have been teaching preschool Sunday School twice a month, but the thought of doing that every week is not too exciting to me. It's not that I don't like it....it's just difficult to schedule around my two little kids (because it's hard to teach with them both in there) and then also I teach all week already! I got the pleasure of sitting near that most fantastic woman on my first flight to Indy last weekend and she gave me what I believe may be the perfect idea for my "service". At her church they have a program called "Loving Pens," they get a list of people from their pastor who could use a card in the mail that week and the people in this group write a loving and encouraging message to them from the church. Immediately when the lady told me about this I thought it was perfect for me! I already like to do things like this for friends and family. Doing this as my service also has more flexibility which means it won't pull me away from my kids even more than my everyday work schedule. I have yet to pitch the idea to my pastor, but I thought I would shoot him an email tomorrow and hope he likes the idea. The verse above tells me that I need to be doing more of these types of things. I know I am busy with work and family, but I know there are still things I could cut out of my life to have more room for these other more important tasks that God has layed before me.

 Today I did officially buy a ticket home for fall break, (which is only in about 2 weeks), since I won't be home at all over the holidays. I am very excited to go, but probably not half as excited as Malaki. We went to Target tonight to buy him a small rolling suitcase because I think he is big enough to roll his own carrry-on & save Mommy some $ by not checking a bag! :o) Jaylee also got the most darling hoodie from Target so she is also ready to head to the midwest as well! Well my eyes are burning, I better head to bed!

May God our Father give you grace and peace.

Im not dead...

So I know it's been forever since I have written a blog and this one probably shouldn't even count as one, but I just wanted to say I am alive!.....just recovering from my trip home. The trip home seemed to fly by so fast, but it was so nice to see my family even if for just a brief time like that. The trip home was good all around because I came home ok with being home. Confused? Well....what I mean by that is that I really enjoyed visiting, but I was ok with coming home and knowing that Scottsdale is my home. Do I know that I will be here forever? No, but I am ok with it being my home for however long. Does it mean I don't miss home? No, but I just realize that this is where I am supposed to be. I realized that I love my family--which makes me love the midwest, but if I sit around Scottsdale constantly wishing I were somewhere else than I am not fulfilling my purpose God has for me in Scottsdale. I need to live in the present and seek God's will for me in the here and now! I need to be living intentionally, if that makes any sense to anyone besides myself. ;o) I am still extremely tired from my trip & the choas of being back at home & work so I need to head to bed. I will really try to get a good one in tomorrow.
May the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace.

No Hiding...

It's really late so this will be a short one, but I wanted to post real quick anyway because I wanted to share a verse the I read yesterday....Hebrews 4:13 "Nothing in all creation is hidden from God . Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable." I really liked this one because I think a lot of times I work so hard to present myself in a certain way so that I please or don't offend other people and not that it's a horrible thing, because social skills are a good thing :o) but I need to realize tand remember hat God is the only one that I am accountable to. Although others judgments and opinions can hurt in the moment, they ultimately hold no baring over my fate; therefore, I should waste no time trying to hide anything about myself from them. By caring so much about how others view me, I am actually allowing them to have power over me when they should not. Also, no type of persona I put on will fool God....he knows everything about me...the good...the bad....and the worse. I have heard some people say that if they question something they are doing they think about what their Mom or Dad would say about it....while that may be helpful, I ought to be thinking what would God say if I had a conversation with him about this. Sometimes I am not sure what God what say about different situations, but I am working on my relationship with him and finding the truth daily.
On a lighter note, I went to my friends house tonight to eat some pizza & watch ANTM and it was a great time. Ki came & met her little doggy which was iffy at first, but they were the best of friends by the time we left. : o) Off to bed I go, hope everyone has a great Thursday!

it's official.

So it's official that I now have to go to the Bible study I mentioned yesterday.....cuz ya know, I was thinking of going & then my pastor had to go ahead & email me today asking if I would join that very one I was thinking of....think that was a little sign....soooo I committed. The Bible study goes from 7:00-8:15, but I told him I would need to leave right at 8:00 since that one hour would fulfil the hour of Bible study that was suggested as part of our challenge....of course I was kidding, but I don't know him all that well, so I hope he got my sense of humor. :o) Anyways I am actually kind of excited to start because he is encouraging a lot of the other "youngish" people that go to our church to attend it so perhaps I will meet some new friends as well. Floyd did say he would come some, but it will probably depend on our childcare situation.
So tonight I started reading Hebrews and the verse that caught my eye was the very last one that I read....2:18 "Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing, he is able to help us when we are being tested." I thought this was a nice reminder of how Jesus was just like us. Sometimes it's hard to imagine that because he certaintly isn't just like us now, but he was at one time. He went through several tests including the ultimate one and they were difficult! I think it's easy for us to think of him as being so superior that nothing must have ever been hard for him, but that's simply not true. If you read the whole Easter story he was basically begging God to let him out of dying on the cross and asking if there were any other way to do it....but as you know there wasn't another way, it needed to be done that way, so he did it! Now, I know my trials and tests are NOTHING compared to that one, so I really shouldn't get down....I should just look to him for help because he does know what it's like....he's been there, done that. That's all for today.
May the Lord Jesus Christ and God our Father give you grace and peace.

pruning...

This post tonight will probably be short and unedited because my internet is being just rediculous! This weekend was a good one...I spent time hangin with the kids since I will be out of town all of next weekend. It will be my first time even staying one night away from Jaylee! It's kinda sad, but I am still excited to go home and see family for a few days. Today our pastor was out of town so we had a substitute pastor which I normally hate cuz it's just really, really not the same. Today it still was far from the same and the sermon was pretty short, but it was good-- It touched on a subject that I think I mentioned just a week or two ago. The speaker was talking about how different plants need pruning in order for them to get more light and produce more fruit and basically the sermon lead to asking us what we needed to prune from our lives to be more fruitful. The pruning in our lives isn't always just cutting away things that are blatant sins, it's simply cutting out anything that's infringing upon our ability to carry out our lives for Him. I have been thinking about what that would be for me and I am sure that I will need to think more about it, but there are a few that are fairly obvious.....less tv & computer time. I actually don't watch much tv at all, but I really don't have time for any (at least on the week days) if I want to be able to be a good wife, mother, and also further God's kingdom. With TV I know there is one program I like to watch during the week so I may limit it to just that and with the computer I will probably just limit my time cuz once I get to surfing on there time flies right by and then later I am sitting there thinking why on earth was I on this thing so long! I would still like to blog on here, but that is something I do after the kids are in bed and I have done my devotions for the day. So that is where I plan to start things. Our regular pastor proposed a challenge to us last week which is the following: for 3 months he would like us to go to worship 1 hr. a week, go to a Bible study once a week, & the serve 1 hr. a week. I have never really done a Bible study before but I took a look at them to see if I could see myself fitting into one....well the obvious one would be the womens Bible study, but to be honest with you I kind of cringe when I think about meeing with so many women all at once! I know that sounds horrible, but it's true. I did however, find another one that looked good....it's just called the life of Jesus. The Bible study will talk about his life and how it affects us today. I think it sounds like it will piece some things together for me a little better. It starts next week, so I have another week to decide for sure. Well it's super late so I am going to cross my fingers & hope this posts & head to bed!

share & don't be afraid.

Tonight I read 1 Timothy and although there were many good little tid bits, 4:5 is what was really meant for me today. It says, "But you should keep a clear mind in every situation. Don't be afraid of suffering for the Lord. Work at telling others the Good News, and fully carry out the ministry God has given you." So the first thing it says is not to be afraid of suffering for the Lord....I know that should probably be easy since he already paid for my life with his own!, but for some reason it still can sound very scarey to me. I guess maybe it's because I always look at Jesus as being so big and strong and myself as just this little ordinary person, that I feel like it's a lot to ask....and well....if I was doing it on my own it would be a lot to ask....BUT...God will give me the strength I need to endure the persecution I must go through. Verse 18 states that He will deliver me from every evil attack and will bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. I really do believe this so now it is time to stop being afraid. I also noticed that it told me to work at telling others the Good News & to carry out the ministry God has given me. Clearly that's something I need to work on and I suppose I could start first by figuring out what ministry God has given me cuz I am really not sure what it is yet. Either way I figure sharing what he's doing in my life on this blog is some kind of a start, right!? :o)
Now on a daily update sort of note....Jaylee's potty training is going well and both of the kids have enjoyed going to the library lately with Auntie Disha during the day. Starting last night I have been feeling sick and it hasn't gone away so that's kind of annoying. I feel like how I felt when I was sick in the Bahamas for two weeks.....which is not good.....really hoping it's not whatever that was! But I have to end on a positive note sooo....I got to watch America's Next Top Model tonight which is a fav of mine & I got a super cute pair of skinny jeans on clearance at Nordstroms! whoop! whoop!

Contentment.....a work in progress.

Well it was back to work today and work was well the norm for me; however, I wish I was able to really explain to everyone what the norm is for my job. I can't really give any details of my job on here because my blog is public, but if you are ever curious you should ask me and I can make up some names to keep confientiality and tell you a few stories. I guess all I can say is the norm for my job would be far from the norm of most jobs, but in a good way! I never really feel like I have a dull day and I really love my job. But anyways....I read 2nd Thessalonians tonight and no offense to Paul but I just wasn't really feeling anything pull me in that book....soooo....I went on to read 1st Timothy and found something towards the very end that is very familiar to me, but I thought I would share it because it took awhile for me to actually really understand it and begin to follow what it speaks about......1 Timothy 6:6-8 "Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can't take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing let us be content." My Mom always would say, "ya can't take anything with when ya leave." And of course I would always reply, "yea, I know," but inside was still having the same desires for things that really didn't matter. It's so easy to slip into the want, want, want mentality with all of the advertisements in our faces every day that are telling us how things are going to make life easier, make us happier, prettier, etc. etc. For those of us that have ventured down that path that comes from believing any part of these claims, we all know that the claims are simply false. There is no material thing that will make you feel permanently happier, prettier, etc. No material things can bring contentment! Contentment can only begin to come when you realize that material things are no part of it and that only your relationship with God and your faith can lead you there because it is the only thing that lasts forever. A very good friend who gave me the Bible I know use wrote this, "Stand firm upon this rock, it's the only truth that lasts forever." How true that is! Everything else will fade away, but His truth will last forever! Through the past 2 years I have been working towards this contentment. I began perging many of my material things.....just as an example: I started with over 60 pairs of shoes/sandals and now I have narrowed myself down to 18 pairs. It's ok, you can laugh, I know I am kinda rediculous....my Dad always calls me Imelda Marcos. But NEways....Perging of my personal belongings felt so good! I did feel much better aftewards, BUT it doesn't mean I never desire to get more things. I still desire different things especially since I LOVE fashion, but I just have to balance things. For example, I set limits on myself with clothing....not in the way of money because if you know me, I can find a deal anywhere....but more so in the amount of things I keep in my closet. If I do get more clothing then I have to get rid of something. This makes things easier because I usually tend to really like the things I have, so I can't get new things unless I am willing to get rid of something that I already have. For this reason I have not gotten a new handbag in quite awhile. :o) The handbags I already have are kind of awesome. :o) This passage also brought something else to mind....while growing up whenever my Dad would pray he would also thank God for what we had and always said that we had so much.....if you knew how I grew up you would probably understand why I was so baffled....(very large family, living on one very small income, hand-me-downs galore, poor in comparison to all of my friends)....I just thought my Dad was a little crazy to be honest. I always thought now how in the world is my Dad considering us to be rich?? Well let's just say I have experienced more since those days and it turns out my Dad was actually right! I have seen that compared to people in other areas we actually were rich materially, but more importantly I realized that we were rich in our relationship with God!....like the verse said, "true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth." Oh, and did I forget to mention my Dad was a pastor and I still questioned things he said often....haha, funny stuff. Well anyways I think I have babbled on enough for one night, hope you can follow it. May God's grace be with you.

A 3 day weekend.

Well this weekend was an extended one and a quite pleasurable one. AND the only thing better than an extra day to my weekend is that the next work week has only 4 days in it! I am getting so old that I can't even remember what all I did this weekend, but I know it was good. I know I spent time w/my family, hung out w/Ashley (which included Rubios & Last Chance, YUM & YEAH!), went to church & taught Sunday School, napped, went to the pool, and went out w/my girl friends. Today we went to drive around a few areas to look at houses. Yea, it's true we are looking at buying down here because things just don't seem to be leading us back to the midwest like I often hope. It's been sort of hard house hunting when I really don't want to buy a house here. Know what I mean? I suppose I should probably just pray about it for some peace and guidance and would also appreciate others prayers as well. Two things that I really like about where we live now is that I really like my job and I really, REALLY love my church! It's the only church I have really liked since I have been out here and I hate the thought of having to find another one if I move to a different part of the valley. (if you ever need a laugh, you can ask me about the first church we visited when I moved out here....haha! oh boy!) Anyways....tonight I read 1 Thessalonians and found 2 little pieces that stuck out to me: 2:4 states...."Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts." I should probably have this posted somewhere for me to see every day because I think I will need the reminder just that often. I think maybe it's part of my personality to want to please others which isn't always a bad thing, but I need to remember that sometimes it's ok for me to not please others because pleasing God is the most important thing. When contemplating what to do or say I need to think about if it would be pleasing to God. The second piece that caught my eye is very simple and self explanatory, but I just really liked it, 4:16-18..."Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances." I think these are 3 good rules for anyone to live by and if one chooses to live by these rules I think they will be full of peace and happiness. This is kind of seperate, but it's something random that I just realized I was thankful for. I am really thankful that I have a husband that sees things differently than I do. I will openly admit that I can be very naive in certain situations. I don't know if it's my personality, how I was raised, or if I am just "slow"....but either way I am glad that my husband see things that I don't and is able to bring them to my attention. I think by me being naive that I sometimes don't guard myself as much as I should and Floyd has helped me see different ways that I need to guard myself and others to avoid unnecessary hurt. He's able to explain things to me calmly and without making me feel really stupid (even if he secretly is thinking I am really stupid at the time :o)). I really appreciate that about him. Well that's all for tonight. I need to go clean and get ready for the work week. May the grace of our Lord Jessus Christ be with you.

a new pair of eyes....

I feel like I got a new pair of eyes this week. It's really strange. I guess it goes back to the new perspective I have, but I feel like I am seeing my world in different eyes now. Just within this week I have already realized different things that I say or do that are good or bad for me &/or others around me. I have pinpointed different relationships I have with different people and the good and bad things that can or have resulted from them. Now don't get me wrong a lot of these things I am now seeing, (that I plan to change), really appear to be nothing earth shattering, but they are very small things that I believe in the whole scheme of things DO & WILL make a very big difference. I always thought of myself as being mature before and (at least the past 4 years) have always had people tell me how mature I am for my age, but I guess ones perspective goes beyond maturity. Maturity does shape ones perspective but so does the wisdom they gain from their faith/religion. I am not sure if this post will make any sense to anyone, but it was an attempt to share so I think I should at least get some credit. :o)
On a seperate note today is Floyd and my 5th yr. anniversary! Last night we had free tickets to go to a Cardinals game so we did that and it was nice to spend time with just us 2 (even though it was hard to leave the kids), and it was cool to see the stadium because I had never been inside before. Tonight we are going to spend some time together with the kids and perhaps we will go out to dinner one of the other nights over this 3 day weekend. Anyways....I am off to go play with the kids now! God Bless.

a great day indeed.

Well today was another delightful day! At work I found out that I am getting a larger raise than I had expected and I got a great coupon to my favorite restaurant  in my email! BONUS! This coupon happens to be the favorite restaurant of my best friend in the valley too, so I will entice her with it to hang out this weekend :o)--& no, I don't always have to bribe my friends to hang out with me....just sometimes. :o) (p.s. did I spell restaurant correctly? I am too lazy to look it up right now & also too lazy to figure out if there is spell check on this blog thing) Anyways....Floyd, the kids, and I went out to the track tonight which is always fun. Malaki loves to tear around the track and especially sprint around kicking his soccer ball. I can't wait to sign him up for some soccer lessons w/other little tots in a few months. Tonight since I didn't cook dinner I decided to bake M&M cookies....I am pretty sure they were way better than any dinner I could have cooked....so I ate 3.
Today's reading for me was Colossians which offered many many topics one could delve into, but I am way tired tonight cuz I haven't been sleeping much this week so I will just highlight my two favorite verses.
3:6 "Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." I would like to think of myself as a forgiving person, but I think I have certain lines that when crossed (especially repeatedly), make it more difficult for me to be forgiving. I know it's a very normal thing, but still I need to keep in mind that some of the very things I do are probably offensive to others and certaintly offensive to God, but he still forgives me as many times as I need it.
Then there was 4:6&7 "Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversations be gracious and attractive..." It's just a reminder to myself that I am a witness at all times to those around me and that my every day actions and words are going to speak volumes about myself and about the one I am serving. It also struck me that it says to make the most of every opportunity....if I don't look for opportunities or if I shy away from them, they are going to pass me by. This blog was a start because I do have many non-believing friends and even those who are believers it's just hard for me to talk about my relationship with God because it was so different up until recently. This blog is a start for me to seize the opportunities I have....some may say it's not that bold, but for me it is & I do plan to become even more bold. One step at a time.
May God's Grace be with you.

a whole new perspective.

Soooo.....I have noticed lately that I must have a different perspective on things than I previously did. I have begun to notice different situations that have arose where in the past I would find my self slightly annoyed or offended or angry....and well now, they just don't seem to bother me at all. They are the very things that I had tried to improve myself and at times things would improve, but not like how they are just recently. I guess I am realizing how much easier things become when you decide to let God be your pilot instead of just a passenger. It's just kind of unreal. I don't even know how I got to this point, but I am soooo glad that I am here. Tonight I read the last two chapters of Phillippians and this passage stuck out to me....it's so amazing & I can't believe I never underlined it before...(3:8-9) "Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God's way of making us right with himself depends on faith." I have began to feel what this passage says; there are many things that used to be of importance to me that just don't matter any more.....they are absolute garbage compared to having a relationship with Christ. Sometimes things aren't necessarily "bad" in and of themselves, but they just become things that get in the way of your relationship with Christ for various reasons and therefore they must be gotten rid of. I also like the second part too where it talks basically about trying to save yourself  by "following all the rules". I think there are a lot of people who feel that is what one is to do in order to be in God's favor and although I knew people had always told me there was more to it I didn't really understand all the rest of it so I guess I just tried to do my best to do what I knew.  And sorry to do this but I just have to throw in another scripture that grabbed me...(4:6&7) "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as your live in Christ Jesus." I have this awesome kind of peace right now and it really does exceed anything we can understand. I want everybody else to be able to experience the kind of peace and happiness I have right now because it's just so unreal!! Haha, I guess people will start calling me a Jesus FREAK now! :o) It's ok, I'll own it. :o)
On a seperate note work was good, but a little crazy as always. I had a brownie sundae for the 4th day in a row and it was just as amazing as it was on day 1, YUM! I took the kids to the pool & I think Jaylee may actually swim better than Malaki-it's weird, they both love the water, but for some reason I think she was born swimming or something. Dinner was not that successful : o (, no details. I took Malaki to buy a toy bus he wanted with his piggy bank money, but he was short $2 so I told him he had to clean some stuff at the house for me. He told me he would clean the windows for me tomorow & then told me maybe he would clean more stuff for money $. Haha! Yea, he's only 3! I also watched part of a good movie and got to talk to another college friend on FB IM which was nice. Now that it's way super late I gotta go squish into bed where Floyd & Malaki have already been asleep for hours.
May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace.